Hello Everyone. It’s been about a year since I’ve been on this site. Hope I’m posting this in the correct topic area. Feeling a bit down. For the past 7 years, I have been the organizer of a large public golf group. I’m an avid golfer and play about 5-6 times per week April - November. I have connections in the golf industry and have set up many games for our group at clubs where it would otherwise be very difficult to get tee times. This year, for some reason, I’m feeling really unappreciated. I just realized this week that out of the hundred and hundreds of games we’ve played, only 2 of our members (about 58 active) have ever offered to even buy me a pop after the game when everyone is sitting around. I can be in the lineup at the bar, with many member behind me, and no one ever says “can I get that for you”, except for the two members I mentioned. It’s not that I can’t afford a coke but I do it for other people. Last year at our Christmas dinner (which was sooo much work setting up), after the dinner and prizes, I stood up and thanked everyone for a wonderful season. NO ONE got up and said “thanks for all the hard work that you do” (it’s about 20 hours a week organizing and I’m not paid - just out of the kindness of my heart). My husband was so shocked, he stood up and said “I want to thank my wife for the heart and soul she puts into this group and the lovely party tonight”. Then I find out that many of these people are booking side games - of course that’s their prerogative, but in 7 years I’ve never been invited to one of these games, yet everyone always accepts my invites to games I set up and people request to play in my group all the time??? Why am I being left out? And often no one saves a seat for me after the game. Talk about feeling hurt. One of our lovely members says it may be because I’m one of the few married people in the group (many have asked me to arrange “dates” for them too - that I DON’T do). Tomorrow we have a large outing of 20 players, I am in the last group and I’m not going to stay after with the rest of them, not even mention that. I’ll just leave the 18th hole, through my clubs and trolley in the car and drive home. I’ll see if anyone even notices. Am I being too emotional or irrational?
Hi friend,
It sounds like you’ve been putting a lot of heart and effort into organizing this group, and it’s really disheartening to feel unappreciated, especially when you’ve been so generous with your time and connections. It’s completely natural to feel hurt and overlooked when your contributions aren’t acknowledged or reciprocated.
It might be helpful to talk to someone in the group about how you’re feeling, as they might not be aware of the impact of their actions. Sometimes people get caught up in their own routines and may not realize how their behavior affects others.
You’re definitely not being too emotional or irrational. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to take care of your own well-being. If you decide to step back or take a break, that’s okay too. Your kindness and hard work deserve recognition, and it’s important that you feel valued and respected.
Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own feelings and needs. You deserve to be appreciated and to have your efforts acknowledged. With love, SG
Thanks so much for your response. I have indeed talked in private to a number of members, but still to no avail.