I'm doing a little better in some parts of my life by learning to focus on goals and to better myself as a person, but i am completely lonely. I feel like Im completely isolating myself from people. I do work and that's part of my social life customers and co-workers and do live with two other people but it's my mom and our roommate. Im sad because i don't have any friends i can call and just say hi. I feel like i can't really keep friends and im not even bothering trying anymore because i don't trust anyone. I had a best friend who i can call all the time or text message, but were not friends anymore. I've tried making new friends since her but lost those friendships because we didn't really click.I have one friend I've made who i feel a little close with, but not close enough to just be able to call whenever i want to chat. Sometimes i text her and half the time she replies and half the times she doesn't. I really want to try again and meet a new best friend Im so scared to make an effort to meet people again for fear of rejection. I want a friend for life. A friend i can count on for good and bad times. A friend to go out to lunch with often not everyday because i do work and like to be alone but not all the time. My phone doesn't even ring anymore hardly ever. Im very sad about that. I don't want to not have any friends. It's too lonely. I don't know what to do? Im so sad all the time. Im so tired of feeling this way. Sharon
Hi sha11,
I feel where you are coming from. Since I have been going through depression and anxiety, most of my friends have slowly faded away. I don't think they know how to act around me, but the worst part is...they never even tried. I feel like I am always the one to initiate things with my "friends." I am always the one calling or texting or making plans. It's like I'm the outcast, at least I feel that way. This weekend I decided I wasn't going to call or text anyone...just to see what would happen. Well I got not one message or one call. They didn't even think about me...didn't notice that I wasn't around. Let me tell you how much that hurt me. I don't know what to do now. I don't want friends that don't want me....but I feel like I don't know how to make new friends anymore. I am constantly lonely, even if I'm around a million people. I just feel isolated. I live alone so it gets worse at night. I just wanted to let you know that I can relate with your story and I am always here to chat if you would like.
Sha and Megan ~ Just remember that you are not alone. It is frustrating when you struggle with severe depression and even just when you need someone to talk with. Always lovely how our "friends" do this when we need them most. I really think a lot of it has to do with lack of understanding and fear.
I am finding that reaching out, even when I don't want to, helps me. Spend as much time learning about yourself, your patterns, triggers, and what makes you happy. And then, only surround yourself around positive and supportive people:)
On those lonely days/nights....focus on all your positives, and the good you can offer the world around you! ......I find that volunteering or just carrying out a kind gesture for someone else, makes my heart happy;)
I took some time today to read your post. It wasn't so long ago that I to felt the way you do. I had a lot of difficulty carrying on with my daily duties. I was turned away by my friends because it got to a point where they couldnt handle what I was going through. It was then that I decided to pull away and try and handle things on my own. The best thing I ever did was make an appointment to see a Psychologist. She has invested so much time in me and has been through some really hard times but it has all been worth it. We still work through my issues together on a regular basis. It gave me a huge relief to find someone who cares enough to help me through 18 months later and she is still here for me at any time.
Sometimes you just feel like what your feeling will never subside and everything just makes you feel even worse. Feeling alone is the worst part of it, I often felt that in those times when I was alone to deal with my own problems I would keep a journal. Its a safe place to write all your thoughts down I share it with my therapist only. We must remember not to judge ourselves too harshly and keep our head up. I used to think negatively about myself and I still do at times but I am only human and I will make mistakes but I always hope that one day I will see a brighter side to life and make use of it. Do you have any goals that you can set in place for yourself??
Depression even the word can be quite dawnting but never look down on yourself for feeling this way. Ever since joining this support group it has giving me hope and everyone on here has offered wonderful suggestions and supported me in one way or another. We are all here for eachother.
I hope your having a better day today and keep posting if it helps people are out there to support us. :)
Sha11 and MeganK, I completely relate to your feelings and experiences. Because of my BDP I haven't been able to hold onto a friend or a job. It's not the same but finding a hobby out in the community, like going to a library or doing something for yourself like actually using an exercise tape you buy feels really good when you can bring yourself to do it and there is always hope of meeting new people or learning something new!
Hello? Is there anyone there?
I am so lonely I just want this pain to end. I have no friends so there isn't anyone I could call for help, no one to go see a movie with, nobody to clown with, nobody, period!
My phone never rings. Sometimes I wonder what I pay $60 a month for. No one calls me, what's the point?
I had some friends for a minute there but they just sort of faded away, one by one, until I was left completely alone.
I live in my Mom's house at the moment. I'm in school full time and trying to get my degree so I can get a decent paying job and move out of here, away from her contamination. Lately, she's been dropping little hints that it's time. It's time to go. She doesn't care where I go, just that I go. My sister lives here as well but she is welcome to stay as long as she wants to. It's only me out of all her kids that she doesn't love, doesn't even like, and has no feelings for at all. It is the most bizarre thing. It's not just my mom though. It's my dad as well. When he comes from the east coast to visit he makes time to spend with each child, well adult, except for me. He's done it 3 times now so I know I'm not imagining it. So, there is a secret that only me and my mother and father know. And that secret is that they don't love me but it applies only to me. Not to my other siblings, only me. I just wish I knew why. I've thought about asking my mom but when I confront her on her differential treatment of me she starts to lie and make up things as quickly as she can or she'll say that she doesn't have time to deal with it and actually communicate with me. I'll sit and listen to her talk to my brother on and on. She know all about what's going on in his life. She knows nothing about mine. She doesn't care to either.
So, not only do I not have any friends, I have a mother and father who don't love me now and have never loved me. Man! If that doesn't make someone feel like dirt I don't know what would.
I am sad, I am alone, I am lonely, desperately lonely, and I feel very hopeless. What do I do? I have been avoiding trying to meet new people in the last couple of months because I'm so utterly depressed I'm positive they wouldn't like me anyways. Who can like some so down? When I am around people I pretend the best I can that I'm not this lonely, miserable wretch so I know I'm driving people away by acting like I'm desperately depressed. And yet, still don't have any friends.
Well, I guess that's all for now. See what happens.
Silver Fox, are you still around? I wish I got on this site and read what you wrote earlier, now it's over five months later... :( From what you wrote it sounds like your feelings are nearly a mirror image of my own. I would love to hear from you and see how you are doing.
I feel the same way. No one around to just call and chat with or who you know would drop everything if you had a problem...even though you would do it for someone else in a heartbeat. I remember in high school, my best friend and I would just sit on the phone for hours. We didn't even have to say anything or maybe we'd be watching the same show on TV. It was just nice to know that there was someone there. In high school I would have friends come over for sleepovers and such and it was so fun. I had girlfriends to go to the dances with and to hang out with during lunch. Now I have no one.