Hi my Dad that I lived with for six years/his last six years died 9-25-09. My purpose was to get up and go to work and take care of the house. But mostly it was to be there for my Dad who had done his best for me. We shared a house together and we were very alike. My father had a serious back injury that made me prone to try and take care of him from a very early age. He was a strong man but was very fragile at the same time as anyone who has had a back injury will tell you-you are always on edge if not in pain.
At the age of 65 after getting a clean bill of health-except for being a pack a day smoker-I came home from a trip to Vegas to find him suffering a massive stroke. There was nothing to do. We had to let him starve to death and luckily he got pneumonia at the end cause he was brain dead.
The good thing is that he donated his organs and other people have eyes and bone transfusions from him.
I based my whole routine around my life with him at the end. I had a flare up of fibromyalgia and pretty much a break down right after and ended up hurting my back as a result of a big temper tantrum I had where I picked up a drawer and and tried to bust an old dresser-it was heavy.
I thought I was over my anger cause I cried for 3 months straight and then went one day angry one day crying. A year and four months later I am back to angry with a little agoraphobia.
The anxiety is causing me to feel paralyzed and I know it is pain and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I was on hydrocodone but that was making me do stupid things like impulsive spending. Now I'm on Lyrica it helps the most and I have been to specialists. They are trying to help me but they say my muscles are like wood now. I need to keep exercising. My feet hurt just from normal walking.
I was recently married to my best friend but I wish I had waited a little longer to get married cause it is a lot of compromise on my part. We have cats. I don't like cats. They are ok outside but not in my house. Anyway most men are not good at cleaning. And when my house is dirty I freak out even more than normal. Anyone else get like this where you think of everything you need to do but it is trivial stuff so you sit there for hours stewing over it? I guess it's part of grieving. At least I am not in that same house where I kept walking room to room looking for my Dad knowing he wasn't there-that was driving me crazy.
Hi Queenofpain75, I just responded to your other post. Please know that I am here to help you in any way that I can. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi queenofpain75, I am right there with you. 2003 mother-in-law passed away unexpectedly; March 2004 mother had open heart surgery(but she did fine)Sept(same year) Hurricane Ivan came through; 5 days after Ivan, my dad passed away unexpectedly; 2005 Hurricane Dennis came through; 2006 I started having unexplained pain; different surgeries for the next year or two; 2009 I was rear ended on my way to work; severe headaches after that and that continues too often now; May 2010 I fell and broke my foot and had kidney stones all in the same week. I still have to go to work and tend to everyday duties around the house. I could go on but I feel like a whiner. I still continue with back pain, headaches;and just generalized pain. If you just want to vent and give me suggestions on managing each day. Please I am here to listen.
i lost my dad 9-10-10 from cancer and was taking care of him. that is when all of my fibro pain started, well now that i think of it i probably had it for a long time but it intensafied after helping my dad witch i would do over in a heartbeat. i loved him very much and like you said he took care of me and it was my turn and was happy to do it. fibromyalgia has really taken over my life and just wanted to talk to ppl who knew what i was going thru.don't really know what i am doing but i will b willing to b here for anyone who needs me. i truley am sorry about your loss and know what you are going thru. prior to losing my dad i lost my step mom and lost my mom to cancer in 95. you do revolve your life around them when they are gone you feel lost. i was very depressed but could'nt see it. emotionally i am doing a little better but physically i don't know how to deal. i am here if you need me.