New to this group. Looking to stay away from gambling completely, but realize it's a one day at a time thing. Geez, never thought a nice 56 year old woman like myself would get hooked on anything, but reality is that I am hooked on the slots. When the local casino opened it's doors so close to my home, the trouble began for me. I only gambled out of control a few times prior to the new casino opening. And I only went every few months. Until 2 weeks ago, I was going just about every Sat. morning. Then I became a liar when asked where I was. I would keep bags in the back of my trunk that I could carry into the house as an explanation for my whereabouts. Before I knew it, I was a gambler and a liar and the self loathing started creeping in. I was so ashamed that I gambled, that there were only a few fellow gambling family members who knew I gambled. I told no one at work. Now I am a lying gambler w/a secret life. This started keeping me up at night when the guilt would start to set in. I am in debt, but not in danger of losing my house because I am employed and am married to a good working man (who doesn't know the extent of my gambling). Although I WANT to go, I now realize I CAN'T go. It's no longer a choice if I want any chance to regain any mental peace and to stop myself from destroying our finances. I recently saw a short segment on 60 minutes about slots. A book was recommended "She Bet Her Life"! This book has really been helpful to me and I encourage anyone struggling w/gambling addiction to read it. It's written by Mary Sojourner. I wish you all success in quitting. The odds are against us if we don't! Unless you have a bottomless supply of money, it's hard for the average person to keep it up. The slot machines are so darn fast that it's next to impossible to go into a casino and spend $50 for the afternoon. It's only been 14 days for me, but I am struggling! I feel all of your pain! But there is always hope so don't give up on yourself or your ability to quit. You can do it when you decide that you really want to! No one said it will be easy! But addicted gamblers do quit. I hope we all can quit and regain our peace of mind!
deedee, amazing what the addiction turns us into. it is a horrible disease, thanks so much for your honest sharing and welcome....hugs from houston Kathy
DeeDee,
Just keep coming back to this site. Read the posts/comments. See how bad off everyone becomes because of gambling. Encourage another, it will only help bolster your fight. Most of all, be honest with your spouse and family. They are your support system. I have found out many times, the hard way, lies just make you suffer more. Take care, God Bless!
Thank you Kathy and Andrew! I am grateful for your support as I deal with this addiction. It helps to realize I am not alone. I wish you both the best.
deedee back at ya…please keep us posted on how your doing. hopes, fears etc…we’re here for you. hugs from houston kathy
DeeDee,
I am on Day 11. No gambling but many thoughts of doing so today. I got a paycheck. Feels good to pay bills and not blow the money. Take Care and God Bless!
ah andrew how great does that feel. congradulations....do you also go to meetings? just a suggestions but nothing like being around people who been there, done that, saved my life....kathy
Congrats on your 11 days of being free from the chain of gambling. I have the cravings to go too, but there is also a new found sense of freedom that I am feeling from not going. I quit smoking 6 years ago and I noticed that although I craved a cigarette, the urge to smoke went away if I distracted myself. There are many reasons why I need to stop, but none that justify going, other than I want to go. It's nice to have some of the same money in my wallet on a Monday and not to be weighed down with the guilt. I am very irritable and out of sorts though. No one said it woud be easy. Day 17 and hopefully counting. God Bless you too.
DeeDee,
Sounds like you are on a roll. I just completed day 12. Did not gamble. Paid several debts. Feel pretty good except when thinking how the debts would not be there if not for the gambling. Onto tomorrow. God Bless us all!
Today is a little rough. It's Saturday morning and in the past, the day I would sneak off and play the slots. I would be home by the time my husband got home from work and then just move on w/my weekend w/a little money (never much) or a very guilty conscious. After reading the book about compulsive gambling, I don't want to mess my brain up any further and I think that is the biggest reason I am fighting the urge to go. I wanted to check my 2010 win/loss statement so that I could be accountable and digest the money I burned last year, but it's not available yet. I emailed the casino to see when it would be available and they said "hope to see you soon". It was almost like an old friend inviting me back, but I know it's the devil's playground for me and that's just a test of my willpower which is very weak at the moment. The amount I lost last year since they opened the local casino is going to be a rude awakening and will bring on more guilt, but I am ready to handle the reality of what gambling is doing to my life instead of just stuffing it into the guilty place inside of my head and heart.
DeeDee,
I hear you. Saturdays are tough. Stay strong and stay home. Exercise, read, lay in bed until the urge to gamble subsides or until its too late to go because your husband will come home. You must stop your cycles. Make Saturdays a day to go out and eat breakfast with a friend. Go to your local library and research a topic or vacation you have been wondering about. Just try. We all have to find a hobby or a distraction. Something that our addictive personalities will attach to that is not self-destructive in nature. Hope you made it through today. God Bless!
well deedee what else can you do today instead of gambling? do you have a plan for distraction? don't you go to that casino....just stay and post and post and post...what can we do to help honey? Kathy
I just exercised and have an appt. to get a hair cut, etc. By the time I get done w/everything, my available time to go will be gone. I am not planning on leaving my house until I go to the hair salon which is in the opposite direction of the casino which is 6 minutes away. I sometimes wish I could move to a state where there was no gambling, but moving is not an option so I have to get this under control. Thanks for caring.
I stayed strong. You are right some days its a minute at a time. Thanks for the support.
Good sobriety today (no luck involved). Today is God's day to be celebrated (if you're Christian)I have no fears about Gambling. Day 15 and counting! God Bless! Appreciate your family members today; show them you care. Take all your Gambling energy and apply it to your relationships.
oh andrew so proud of you hun. oh yes i’m very christian and jesus is the one that will help us through. the path to sobriety along with it’s potholes also has the most beautiful awarenesses of life and family. you see the world from a different place. i’m so happy for you and God bless you to honey and your family. let us move on together as Gods children one day at a time. Kudos my friend kathy
Good job Andrew! Every minute we get another chance to get it right. I do believe with God's help, anything is possible.
Hi All,
I wish you all good luck in staying gambling free. There is nothing more that I would like than to have a whole weekend go by and I don't take the 20 minute drive to the Casino. Already coming up with my plan for next weekend so it doesn't happen. This site may become my new best friend!
Hey,
I’ve taken on extra jobs on weekends in the past to fill up my time so less to gamble. I even took a dealer job at a casino so I would not be able to gamble there but then there was another one 10 miles down the road so I would either go after my night shift or the morning of (very little sleep). Many times I would feel almost unconscious and sort of drift/drive from home to the casino. It seemed once I was in the car headed in that direction there would be no way for me to fight off or stop the inevitable losing. People who don’t gamble can’t seem to understand why we keep going back every week for the same result. Gambling was the high win or lose but winning was the ultimate high which could carry me for months (not financially) believing I could go anytime and have a chance to “earn” a whole month’s salary in a few hours time. I’ve done that twice but add up all my losses and I probably could have bought two houses with cash. Crazy, crazy addiction. I am now on day 16 looking forward to tomorrow day 17 of soberiety. My wife said she would buy me any car I wanted with three years straight of not gambling. I gave her the same challenge with smoking (but I told her I am ahead 16 days now). Take care y’all, and God Bless!!
You can do it MD48 but no one said it would be easy. We are all happy to be your new BFFs. Keep posting.