First Thanksgiving Get-Together

Well, yesterday was my first Thanksgiving festivity. Every year all of my friends get together for what we call a "Apartmentsgiving". Everyone brings something to eat, there is a turkey, and everyone enjoys the food and then we play Apples to Apples or watch a movie. It is so that we can do Thanksgiving with our friends every year before everyone goes home for the actual holiday.

Well, I was scheduled to go and to cook. BUT, Brandon (my fiancé) and I went to lunch yesterday and I was all set on restricting all day. We got to the restaurant and I really didn't want to eat so I figured I would get a small salad. Then Brandon really jumped down my throat about what I have been eating and how much (he doesn't know I am struggling). So i picked out something else but it had bacon bits on it and I felt more comfortable with the bacon bits off...but no, once again Brandon went off the deep end! I felt so small and out of control. I didn't think holding the bacon was THAT big of a deal...but to him it was a sure sign I had completely relapsed. I figured he would just be happy that I was eating something other than a salad...and that I was actually eating! So, I ate some of my meal and really had the urge to purge but I knew I couldn't get away with it.

We went to Barnes and Noble after lunch and I really tried to look at things that would keep my mind off of the food in my stomach...but I couldn't. I didn't purge but I felt miserable.

I took Brandon home and headed to work. Well, on my way to work I started sobbing because I ate lunch. I decided right then I wasn't going to "Apartmentsgiving". I texted my best friend who was hosting it and said I couldn't make it. Her and her roommate both texted me wanting to know why I wasn't coming. I told them the truth. I said I was really struggling and that when I started sobbing because I ate lunch I knew I wasn't going to be able to handle it.

While at work Brandon texted me and said that he really wanted me to come and I told him I didn't want to. He then said "they already ate" and that kind of encouraged my ED. So i went and got offered food and said no. I stayed for about an hour and went home. At home however, Brandon proceeded to yell at me because I hadn't eaten dinner. I was so confused and I am sure he is too.

Today before he left for work he told me I could just sleep all day and then he said "but you have to eat meals too". I think he is catching on that I am struggling. I think he only thinks I am restricting though--he doesn't know about the frequency of my purging. Ugh....

~Ashley

ashley,

i am sorry you had such a bad day. i hope today is better. i know it is hard when everyone wants you to eat and you feel so out of control. before i had a long sit down with my sweetheart, she would sometimes tell me if i didn't eat, she would shove it down my throat (never literal, but it still got the point across). once i sat down and talked to her, she started to see how damaging to me getting on me about my food is bad and what it physically and mental does to me. she started to understand more. once i gave her an analogy that she could grasp.

Scarlette

Scarlette

thanks girl. Brandon knows how damaging it can be. We have gone through 80 hours of therapy in 2 weeks all revolving around my ED while I was IP. He knows not to be the food police and that it only makes me want to restrict more. Maybe I am going to have to remind him cause I really hate people yelling at me. Especially when it is about food.

gentle reminders are good. it might help majorly. especially with the holidays approaching.

Scarlette

Ashley, he is your fiancee, he loves you regardless, why not confess to him what ED is doing to you and that you have indeed had a relapse? Wouldnt it be easier then trying to hide it and getting into unecessary fights? I'm sure he would be supportive...

Well, I talk to Brandon. It didn't go over too well. He said he is going to have a hard time trusting me now since I was lying to him. He then said that if I want to stay in a relationship with him I will try harder and get back into therapy.

I called a new therapist and I am waiting for her to call me back to set up an appointment.

I did horribly today. I b/p and now I feel sick as a dog. I was going to go running but I feel so bad I can barely move. I spit up some blood today too... :/ ugh. Not a good day.

I'm glad you told him, honesty is the best policy sweetie....please seek medical attention if you spit up blood again....im worried :(