First time here.. today someone gave me some papers on being

first time here.. today someone gave me some papers on being with a narcissist and i am in absolute shock at how exact the description of the relationship is in writing as it was when i was with him. i explained so many times to people how it was and to know its labelled is freaking me out. he is not letting me go and in one breath can say how he loves me and the next tells me im a nasty piece of work and just so so much more. the affairs..the treatment..the accusations against me..omg all of it was what i battled.. self blame, self hate..the trying over and over..but always getting the feeling inside that my soul knew it was wrong. he made me feel so guilty for my doubts and he would go off when i questioned anything..he had me right where he wanted me and the funniest thing of all..he called me a narcissist. he is a nasty piece of work and with much harassment over these last few months i am taking legal action against him..he even told me he joined a support group for victims just as this one..even making me question if i was actually one myself..but knowing i am not..It is the most terrible experience and i would often tell him i would him rather he hit me than say the disgusting derogatory demeaning things he would say. it makes me feel sick knowing just how he played me and how i wasted so many years on someone do they even do things like that to other people. ??? i always thought i had a lesson of forgiveness but turns out i had a lesson of my self worth..light bulb moment. I would bet he is seeing someone right now and she would have no idea he is professing his love for me. i feel like a right idiot but aswell know i was true to my feelings, to him through our years together. i was never unfaithful as accused. my goodness when i think of all the times things didnt make sense or he acted weird..or he pulled away and made me think it was have me on the verge of suicide..telling me to kill myself. the head games is just whew..i only said to him not long ago when he came to my not believeing your words of honey anymore because u get me then treat me like **** after a few weeks. i have often told people he has the devil in him..that its not love. how he twists and turns..the frustration in ones mind is overwhelming. thank god i see the took awhile and i still have a ways to go i am sure. I know a dvo wont stop him. he is not going to detroy my life and take what is rightfully mine.. the right to be free. wishing all out there courage and strength to find your worth and to not let these bad souls take your light.

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Hi ! My first Time here too! I have found out that my husband is a Narc a long time ago , when he started do give me the silent treatment, the constant criticizing when in the begining he was my prince charming!
My god, I still love him so much after 6 years and he his everything of a narc.
I share your pain!

@Martacc i just wrote a big thing out and now dont know what is happening with it…ive pressed it three times lol… oops. all i can say is this narc business is nasty stuff…how soul destroying for the innocent.

Yes. It's chilling

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I just figured out I'm married to a narcissist less than 48 hours ago.
Everything just clicked. I had heard of narcissism, but didn't realize it was in my face.

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To: Wornout22. How long married? Children? How are you?

Aug. will be 10years. One child. Exhausted/disappointed/sad/and a few others.

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@wornout22 third attempt… keep pressing the wrong thing and it deletes… so … hang in there… u atleast know what u r up against…thats a good thing. u wont go down the self blame road atleast and may be able to seperate yourself from his actions and words… can u get a part time job? do some online study? set a plan in motion and give urself some time to break free? time flies these days and we all have a seperate journey…it wears u down until u have just had enough of being treated like shit…but it still hurts… it really hurts. today i had a big bawl that i loved someone sooo much and went through so much mentally and emotionally and he honestly didnt care…was not sorry…but would profess to love me so much. im angry too…conflicting emotions right now. go to court on the 19th for the dvo…the reality of that makes it more real that it is over now… there is no going back…no more fantasising or trying ‘one more time’… i loved him soooo very much…prick lol all the best to you…chin up and dont ever get down for where u r… u have to do what is right for you and bubs. xo

I'm sorry. For you and your child. I can only say that this support group is helpful. Ask any questions. I myself am here after a 18 month relationship. It's very difficult I can only imagine with 10 yrs of history what you are feeling. Breathe in and out. And pray for strength. N

Yes, I'm in quite a situation.
Man .....smh.

i'm glad you are getting outta the twilight zone. unfortunately all of us here had taken up residence there, hence, why we are now on a support group least I am able to laugh, but it wasn't long ago (back this summer) I was one hot mess and was right where you are. I have to say that once the "lightbulb" went off and I started educating myself on the warped subject of NPD, it was then that it all made sense and I realized I wasn't the one w/the problem. HE WAS!!! and he will always be a problem, he will always have a problem, he will always be miserable and there, unfortunately, will always be victims!! 8 years I wasted, but I use it as a learning tool and pride myself on the progress I have made thus far. It took therapy, antidepressants and losing 20 lbs in two months before I gotta grip on my health and said "eff" this crap. the people on SG are awesome and they all rock!!! we support each other and believe it or not, the stories are more or less the same. it's so TWISTED!! Get outta the relationship and go NC immediately, it's your only road to sanity. Block him for all communication and think of only yourself and your health. we are here for you!! hugs

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That isn't an option. I've been a stay at home mom. No degree either. Student loans in default.
I have nothing to support myself or child.
This will not be an overnight move in my life.

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