Its my first time on this website. I just needed to find a place to express myself. I dont know what is wrong with me sometimes... but Im definitely feeling sooooo lonely. I had an argument with my partner yesterday. Feels like the same argument we had weeks ago and many more times before that... What do you do when something is wrong and that person doesn't fix the problem? But he is gentle and loving in many ways and says sorry and here everyday with me. But I feel like my life is not moving forward, like a blob! So empty and I try to make a point I feel like I am right but he fell asleep to me trying to talk to him. He just layed there while I had tears in my eyes. How can someone be told there is a problem in a relationship and that person act like nothing is wrong. Fall asleep to you feeling hurt and crying? I just regret my decision to be with him. I allowed him to come in my life and I feel like I didnt really show him that I expected to be proposed to if he was serious, I expected to be married one day in a church, that I wanted someone to share my life with who actually cared about setting goals and securing our future. I cry so much because I am just not happy... sometimes the next day I'm fine but then sometimes I just wanna disappear from the world! I am embarrassed to go to my family because I have a son and I want the best for him. I want to have the family I never had. But It's getting ruined. It seems a happy family is impossible. I dont think I can take it. I just have no one to tell how embarrassed I am to put my self in his hands and have him be so irresponsible. Now I am a ***** and I exaggerate everything according to him. I am paranoid worried that he is spending money we dont have I am worried about everything. He acts like Im just crazy like he will see im upset and I try to reason with him but he just says come to bed you'll be alright tomorrow. I can't feel more alone than what i feel right now. When I speak to my partner is as if I talked to the walls in my room. I mean nothing, my feelings mean nothing, I feel so so so down.
Its not just our argument.... it's more....What have I done with my life? I rushed to a relationship and now Im lonely... I feel like now Im stuck without being able to make more money... Sometimes I dont even know what will make me happy....Its sad I dont have a friend to call...But I also think people get tired of hearing peoples repeated problems... I guess unless you are in a similar situation your not truly interested...I think it comes from way back to my own parents who werent there as i would have liked them to be... I could count on them, everyone says things will get better... then Im just not understood by anyone.... even my man.... doesnt think I have anything to worry about and is not interested in drying my tears and helping me feel secure about us...
I feel like I am a burden too. I feel as if no matter what I do it is not good enough. I try but can’t win. People don’t understand when you feel as if you are screaming inside for help but no one hears you. It is hurtful to not be able to call a loved one for fear of them not understanding. I know these things all too well. It takes time and i have reached out here and it does me some good. I will places other things into action and go from there. A little goes a long way. You don’t have to feel judged here just let it out and soon all things heal. I hope you know that you are not alone and I hear you and really understand.
sometimes its easy to get caught up in a rut but u have the power to change your life in your hands, one little change everyday makes a huge difference to how u feel about things.
because u have not started life yet is not a problem, its better really have u thought about going to school when your child does so u can get a good job and not worry about the childcare? or mayb u could do an at home course of learning to fill some of your time, u dont say how young your child is but im sure there are groups in your area u can go along to and join in with other parents, i take my youngest grandchild to a playgroup on a wednesday and all the mums stay for coffee and cake :) oh we chat or swop things for little ones as they grow out of them.
keep chattin hon
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Thank you... I am in school I do online classes. That helps sometimes... today i am feeling much better.. I just feel like when I am upset or I stress about certain problems my world crumbles... Today I am trying to appreciate what I have and I am just hoping that next time I feel so down its not worse but better. Its so hard to explain I wonder if anyone out there feels that way... When you are happy you are happy but when you are down its WOW.... so sad... writing on here helped me a lot I mean when I look at what I wrote Im like wow.... I remember how sad I felt... I definitely need to work on my self and making friends... moms would be great.... thanks for the comments!
anonima
u are not alone hon its hard to be happy all the time and how well i remember those days of working and having small children, the lack of sleep the responsibility of anothers life and all the choices to be made not just for u but them as well,
but u are doing a great job, its not about crossing the finishing line first its about taking the time to have a great day, its all about dont fret over what u cant change and u are on the right track with school so now find a group that u can belong to and the rest falls into place
have a great day
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)