Does anybody else experience these amziingly vivid flash backs of war experiences? They sort of like night mares usually at night but they are so REAL man. I wake up I can hardly breath. Sometimes i messed the bed. I dont want to sleep with my wife because of that...scared of disgracing myself. Tried once to tell her what happened but she got so angry with me for not telling her what happened all for so long. Only told her about 25 yrs after stuff happened. I was in that pointless stupid Rhodesian war in Africa/ I cant cope with these flashbacks. They demoralize and crush me. They hang around for days then are gone for months. I think work stress might set them off. We dont have psychiatrist or psychologists in this part of africa where I live. I need help. Need to talk about this with someone REAL who has been there.
Afunytingapend, thank you for being here and for sharing with us. I am so sorry for what you have gone through and continue to go through. I am here to offer you my help and support. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
i to would like to offer my support. i've not been where you've been and am deeply sorry for the pain and trauma. please feel free to share anything/everything if you'd like. no judgement here. love and support we have to offer.
Hello,
I've have been myself injured badly in a terror attack, see my post.
I had flashbacks and that feeling came back to me during daylight out of the bloom. Nightmares and seeing myself dead in my dreams.
After 9 years now, i am better but still have difficulties and my advice is to always talk to your best friends and share it, it will make you feel that people really understand what you are being through and this will ease you.
if you wanna know more feel free to ask me.
Take care, and remember, you are not alone.
Alex .T
thanks for your support. It is good to know that you care and that I am not the only one who had this stuff. I think one of the worst things is wondering when it is next going to happen. Times when I am agitated or been under stress I am scared to go to sleep. These things are SO real. And you dont always wake up. My wife doesnt like being near me then because I scream and shout she says. Its humiliating and I would really like to contact others who may have found self therapy or ways to kill these events
Although I want to in some ways I just dont feel able to tell you the things that happened. I am trying to block them out and am worried that going over them might bring the flashbacks up again. Dumb I know. It like a catch22...you need to talk but too scared to.
About the wondering when it is going to happen next, well, this is going off with time, after 9 years i still get this feeling once in a month or so, but back then it was like few times a day. Every time i walking back into a bus, i feel worried, looking for suspected faces, maybe that strange guy over there is a terrorist and soon enough will blow up the bus again. Even when i fly with airplanes, i sometimes get the feeling that we are going to crush and die. So, almost anytime I use a bus or airplane, or a crowded place (also public buildings, malls, etc.), i am preparing myself to die, saying goodbye to myself, it is very sad and frightening, but eventually I tell myself that it can happen anytime and anywhere and that I should live my life as I want and not let the fear control my life (back then, sometimes, because i was so afraid i was dropping off the bus before my stop just because I saw some strange face on the bus, and it drove me crazy, as time went by, it happen less and less).
I am fighting those feelings and trying to make logical judgments and not let the fear get in the way.
I think, and i also feel it, that when you are trying to remember what happen to you and try to understand your fears, it makes you close up and depressed, and instinctly you would want to avoid such memories and woderings, but this is the best way (to try and rememberm to wonder about those feelings, to drill down intor yourself) to deal with those things (at least this is what i feel and think). When you bring those feelings/memories up to your mind and try to think them through and try to remember more details of the incident, then, your mind is processing this stuff, the mind is chewing it up, and eventually it digests it, and you will get better.
You must admit your situation and not deny it, and you must know there are many people out there that got in rough situations similar to yours and mine, and that they feel the same, we all are made from the same stuff (maybe a crappy stuff, but the same stuff).
I know some people that got injured in terror attacks, one was shot and killed, others injured in explosions, and we all feel those feelings, no different over there.
As time goes by, things will better, our mind will heal and we will be happier, meanwhile we have a lot to process.
Maybe, some black humour (morbid humor) will do you some good as well, I like black humour, this is another way to face these horrible things, sometimes you also need to laugh in order to process things in your mind.
your friend,
Alex. T
I served in the Army in Iraq in 03 and when I got back for the next few years I had flashbacks and I have also woken up screaming. I grew up with abuse and with the added expericances in the Army I was screwed up majorly for a long time the flashbacks seem to fade over time when I found good people in my life like my wife and a good shrink to make me think of the now and release those memories of the past. I still need to do that with the abuse, I won't say that the memories are not still there certin sounds and smells trigger memories but I have learned to deal. Keep holdin on buddy and trust me it will get better just live for today!!
Dear Afunytingapend:
Please take a minute to review www.emdr.com . You should check it out and consider if this type of treatment may be right for you.
An advantage of Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing treatment is that it is fast. Many therapies may take months or years, but EMDR is much quicker for people who need help NOW with specific flashbacks and/or unresolved or incompletely processed memories.
At any rate, learning about EMDR may help you understand your mental processes better, which alone may help your brain to process the memory(ies).
Hope things get better for you! :)