Flipping out

i feel like my meds are makeing me back track! i realy dont care about anything anymore.. i wanna scream! im not hungry one minute and the next i cant stop eating, i went 4 days and everytime i ate i got heartburn, and nausiated, i never get heartburn! im so horny i masterbated 4 times on saturday, after not doing anything for four days! now im just so moody and unpleasant nobody wants to be around me, and the worst part is i know im being a ***** but i cant stop! why? im going insaine!

i have also thought about suicide often even tho i realy dont want to, the thought just keeps coming up,. i could end this, right now, it could all be over and i could be at peace.. but i dont and i wont. i realy do hate myself for all this.. im pathetic im sorry you all have to deal with this. im sorry

Have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling? You can get your medication changed and/ or adjusted if need be. Or do you have big stressors in your life that are causing you to go off track? Just remember you can fix this, don't worry and things will work out!

Hello,

Im sorry youre going through so much right now. Im a diagnosed schizophrenic since I was 12. Im now 18. At times, I feel that my meds arent helping either. But, I keep telling myself I need them or I will go downhill and things will get really bad real quick. Why dont you try to call your doctor and see if you can see him/her. Maybe he can write u a script for a PRN.

And youre not being a *****. Youre doing the best you can. I know its frustrating sometimes but, hold on. Things will get better.

If you ever need to chat, Im a click away.

SashaVL1992

do you remember b4 you were diagnosed and it was so hard for you to focus it took so much out of you that it was almost not worth it? thats how im doing but not with the voices with my emotions/ moods, its like im prego or menoposile, lol. i was just crying my eyes out and now im fine, but here later ill prolly be pissed and flip out again, im at work and its taking everything i got to control this right now.. im so tired... blah

Shavonn,

I do know how that feels. But usually, Its including the voices. Its a good thing the voices arent there. I have schizo effective disorder. I have moody times and Im really sorry youre going through this right now. You are doing great with writing on this site though. What kind of job do you have? I dont have a job because of my fear of meeting new people. Its pretty sad but, I know you can do this.

Keep in touch with me.

Sasha

i work at a hospital, in the ER, so theres people around me all the time, diffrent people everyday, i get overwelmed alot and have panic attacks in the bathrooms, lol. and or asthma attacks, but not so many of them lately, ive done good for the last two days, and thats what i hate about all this, its a day to day thing to just get by, sometimes its an hour to hour thing, i talk to myself so much! theyre prolly is some voices going on in there i just dont notice them... ya know what i mean? cuz my mind has been wondering alot more lately, and idk why. how are you doing sasha?

hello,

Yeah working at an ER can be a stressor by itsself. But, its good that youre working there to help other people. Sometimes, you just need to take it hour by hour just to get by. Im in high school and some days I dont want to go to class, but, I have to force myself and afterwards, I realize it wasnt that hard afterall and it was worth it.

Im doing well. Saw my boyfriend yesterday. We had a good time. Hes coming to see me again tomorrow and then on Saturday, were going to a Native American Pow Wow in Seattles Discovery Park. Ive never been to one before but, it does seem interesting so, I will go and see how it is. Plus, I have some Native American in me.

How are you doing today? Just keep taking deep breaths and know that youre helping people. Sometimes when you realize youre helping someone else, you feel better.

Take care,

Sasha

omg nu uh! i would die to go to an indian pow wow, im part cherikie, and my new boo is half, you gotta tell me how it is, lol. but today im excited cuz me and my new guy im with are gettin together tonight after work, and its been like 2 weeks since we've hung out outside of work, so yeah, :-)

Hello,

Im so happy that you get to see your friend tonight. Sometimes it helps to see someone that youre close to. My boyfriend lives 90+ miles from me or so so, I cant see him much. But, Im planning on moving to a town closer to him at the end of this month. He may come to see me today with his 2 other friends. I dont know yet though. I saw my boyfriend for the first time in 3 months 3 days ago and it was so nice to see him. I was angry before and then I saw him and I was all calm and happy.

Well, have fun and I will check in later to see how you are.

Sasha

hey girl! oh i had a great weekend! me and my man friend hung out and had a blast! did you get to see you bf? let me know. :-)

Hello,

Im glad you had fun with your man friend. Thats funny because thats what I call them too"man friends". I did see my boyfriend last Wednesday and it was OK. I rode my bike 6 hours from Edmonds, WA to Capitol Hill, WA....100+ miles and I saw him for 1 1/2 hours. We made love, we talked and we had fun. But, after all of that, he just got up and left. His friend, Alex, was with us and she left. I guess I hurt her feelings. I can be standoffish with new people. Its hard for me to trust people sometimes and I feel terrible now. My man friend, David, wont text me or call me now. Yesterday was his birthday. I wanted to spend it with him but, I guess he didnt want that. I feel like he used me. I feel betrayed. Ive not eaten that much since Wednesday and Im scared of whats going to happen betweeen us.

Im going to community college in September. I was going to move to Federal Way so that I could go to school and so that I could see David more but, now, I dont know if its worth it. I now live with my mom and I love her and all but, Im 18 and I want some independance. I am just now trying to get SSI and that requires my high school that shut down because of the budget cuts has to fill out the form saying that I was a full time student. Once SSI gets the form, I get 600 bucks a month and that will help me pay for my rent.

Theres a lot going on right now in my life. But, Im actually happy today because I spoke to my friend yesterday who Ive not heard from since January this year. She battles with anorexia, self harm and now she has schizoeffective disorder(so do I). Her anorexia is under control but, her voices are so loud. Shes in my prayers.

How are you doing today?

im glad you had fun with your man friend, im sorry i havent been on here to talk, ive been busy myself, i met somebody new, off of this dating site, and hes amazing! im realy falling for him, and he asked me to be his gf, and hes closer to my age hes only 24, so we have lots incommen, but as for you, i hope things get better for you! im here 4 ya :-)

From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder