I've been feeling like more of a therapist to some of my girlfriends as of late, rather than a friend. I'm the one that they call whenever there's an issue, drama or sadness. I love being there for my friends, but lately it just seems like an overwhelming wave of drama and I have an abundance of my own stress in my life.
How can I be a good friend and also take care of myself? I am trying to find that balance.
In my life .. being there for my friends is takeing care of my life. But yes its understood when drama is wanted I kick in an old Sherlock Holmes movie .. I dont call up a friend. I remember the day .. one of those moments of extreme knowledge.. or excessive weirdness.. or totally warped thought hit me. Its not my place to heal but only to listen. They dont need to become the best I thank they should be.. by my rules. The are becomming the best they can be by their rules. Their life isnt mine.. no matter how close we are. This probably doesnt make much sense but I seldom do.. lol.. but its what I try to follow.
Thanks so much for your wonderful insight Ststephenmc! I think that I need to find the happy medium of being there for my friends and also having peace and serenity on my end by not allowing their drama to really weigh me down.
Next time one of them calls you to rant, politely say, i'd love to listen and offer you some advice, its just that i have alot going on myself at the moment, maybe you should give _____ a call, im sure she'd offer better advice then me at the momet.
Such brilliant advice [as always] Lilac! Thank you so much. You're so right, there's always a nice way to go about doing so. I hit my limit yesterday and told my friend who was going on and on and on and in circles about a silly issue with an ex, so I finally told her that I had a deadline for work and had to go. I will now set a limit and let friends know that I have to be off the phone in ___ minutes. Well, only those friends that love drama.