Frustrated and sad, I’m new to the group, newly Wed of alm

Frustrated and sad, I’m new to the group, newly Wed of almost 3 years, over 50 yr old female. My husband has no sex drive and has had ED for almost 8 years now. I knew this when we got married but thought that maybe he would trust that I would never leave him. Maybe if he knew that since I married him, we could try to have some intimacy but nothing. I desire him always but he doesn’t have any interest. He kisses me good night, we cuddle and go to bed. I’m frustrated and sexually unsatisfied. I’m miserable but love him so much. I joined this group for support and hopefully ideas on what we can do. He doesn’t want to go to counseling but if I force him he will. I don’t want to force him.

Just wondering, is he asexual or on the asexual spectrum? Like has he ever had sex or sex drive.

As someone who suffers from ED maybe he fears the intimacy because he doesn't want to let you down, he's obviously suffered from it in previous relationships and maybe his previous partners have made him feel inadequate, that it's all his fault as I feel. If you show him that no matter what happens you'll be there and that he's your one and only maybe he'll let go more. Hope everything works out for you both.

Get your husband to have his Testosterone checked, i would be its low if he’s lost his sexual desire. Just be aware if that is the case and he get’s it sorted, he will want sex every day. Good luck