I am 27 years old and have been trying for one year to get pregnant. Being young, I assumed I would immediately conceive and have the perfect little baby... after 6 months of trying, my husband and I were thrilled to get a positive pregnancy test. A week and a half later, I lost the baby. I was completely devastated. That same week, my twin sister told me she was pregnant after just one month of trying. Now, 6 months later, she is entering her 3rd trimester with a healthy little girl, and I am still childless, 15 pounds heavier because I coped with food to "heal" my miscarriage, and so very sad. I am very close to my sister and want to share in this experience with her, but it is very hard for me to see her going through all the amazing things pregnancy brings. Everyone is so excited to feel the baby kick, paint the baby's room, and buy the baby clothes. Now I'm starting to plan her baby shower but just don't know how to get through it all. I am genuinely happy for her, just very jealous. I am sad that I feel like I am hindering her awesome pregnancy with my jealousy. All I want in the world is a baby, and I just don't understand why this is happening to me. Everyone tells me I need to relax and be patient... but that's so much easier said than done. I know that God's timing is perfect and mine is not, but I just wish our timings would be more aligned. I go through cycles where I am depressed (mostly every month when I find out I'm not pregnant) then very happy and accepting. I try to be a positive person and to always find the best in everything, but now I am so sad about my situation that I feel like I'm just walking around faking it...
*fingers crossed* I have an appointment with my ob/gyn tomorrow to start making a plan of where to go from here... if you're of the praying type, please send one my way. I want to be a mom more than anything in the world, and it's just really scary to think that might not happen the way I want it to.
Hi ergriffin, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . I can understand your feeling the way you do. It can be very stressful trying to get pregnant. Let us know how you appointment goes with the doctor. Keep sharing with us. I know how much it helps to talk. We are here for you. I will pray for you. ((((hugs))))
I really admire you for being so supportive of your pregnant twin sister, even as you go through the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant. It is very normal (and human) to feel "jealous" in this situation. When I was going through my fertility procedures, two of my sisters became pregnant around the same time. I chose to be lovingly honest with them about my conflicting feelings. One one hand, I was so very happy and excited for both of them. At the same time, I felt devastated that I could not get pregnant myself. It was a very challenging time for me, and my sisters were very understanding and supportive. Only you can decide how much you can handle being around other women who are pregnant (including your beloved twin sister.) Since you are so close, I am sure that she will also understand and support you, just as my sisters did with me. Please keep us posted on your fertility journey -- my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.
My doc (who is also my sister's doc) helped me out today... he's going to put me on clomid for a few cycles to make sure I'm ovulating the right way. He said "bless your heart, having to sit out in the waiting room with all those cranky pregnant women." He also said I need to calm down and that just because I'm young doesn't mean it's going to take less time to get pregnant. So I guess I'll be waiting longer... patience, patience!
Hello!
I hope the clomid works for you! Be prepared for being very emotional and moody…I was when I took it for two cycles. I did not continue for a 3rd because my husband, now ex, was not very supportive of me and my moods…not a good relationship, long story. In the near future I would definitely consider trying them again, being in an amazingly good relationship with a very patient and understanding man. I have heard many success stories with this drug, a good friend of mine used it and her son is now entering PreK!
I also understand that honestly it’s annoying to have others tell you to relax, don’t think about it and it’ll happen. Not thinking about it? Yeah right! When it’s all you want, to get pregnant, it’s hard to not think about it. I think joining this online support group is a good idea :o) It helps you to say what you want to say to those who have and are been there to offer you support. I joined this support group in part as a class requirement in completion of my masters degree in marriage and family therapy, but once I joined I knew that I needed it for myself more than anything else. So, this class was a blessing in disguise!
Good luck to you and prayers are with you!
Take care!
To add to that, my doc doesn't want to do a full workup on me yet. He said a year is too early to do that. What I really think is that I'm not showing signs of endometriosis and that he doesn't want to do the surgery because I'd have to pay out of pocket... so he may be holding me off. Insurance won't pay for it because my miscarriage is considered a successful pregnancy, which they say makes me fertile. So if I'm still not pregnant next January, then he can do it and have it paid for.
Anything that insurance will pay for will be a great help! Things sure add up so quickly with all these fertility procedures. Glad to hear that you are doing what you can to get the ball rolling with your fertility treatments!
ergriffin,
I am 27 myself and having the same issue. However i do have a 2 year old son. He is so amazing and smart. My husband and i got pregos with him in only 2 months and now we are on 15 months and going for the next. its so frustrating. I wana cry every time i get my period. Its to the point i dont wana have sex or even try anymore. Keep your head hi and keep trying. I offten think if i get rid of my sons baby things maybe i will get pregos because i will have nothing for the baby but thats just silly. I have no insurance so i have no idea if its my husband or not. I had a test done and i shows that i ovulate however that means nothing to me at this point. It is hard when everyone around you seems pregos. I just had 5 girlfriends and a sister inlaw all have babys in the past 2 months and it is so sad yet so happy. i feel guilty about being sad.
mktkuper, I so understand... I feel guilty for being upset when I'm around my sister because I don't want her to feel bad for me. My insurance will pay for "tests that the plan deems necessary"- which means NOTHING to me... they could completely deny everything. Insurance won't pay for my clomid either... that's going to be $50 a month (for 5 pills) but that'll be much cheaper than fertility treatments, so I'm going to pray that it works. My mom called me today and said "I totally had a dream that you were out buying diapers for your triplet boys." So maybe the meds will help me have multiples!!!
my hope and thoughts are with you. My doc was going to put me on clomid but then my ovulation test came back pos so she put that on hold and told me to call her in 4-6 months and we would go from there. I was so upset that she wouldnt just give it to me but i guess i understand to a point. So if i dont get my period when i am suppost to i am going to call her and see what the next step is. Everyone including my husband says quit stressing about it, it will happen when it right but what if it doesnt? I am so sick of waiting. you know what i am talking about. They dont understand how upsetting it is to me deep inside. I just wana scream and cry. I really hope things work out. If i dont get pregos its ok i do have an amazing little boy that is my everything and i have to be thankful that i have been blessed with him and come to terms that this may be what it is and find a way to be ok with it. glad i am not the only one with these feelings. hope you have a good day!
You should check out this really good blog. It might help. It's written by a counselor who is going through her own infertility treatment - for others like her or anyone who might find it helpful to read about infertility's effect on the woman. If you want, check it out.
http://thatonebasket.wordpress.com/
ergriffin
I hope the clomid works for you! I hope and I will pray that you get prego soon. Patience is a hard thing to do but stay possitive.
Think possitive and do everything a doctor tells you to do!!
xoxo
Ana
You might like this blog. It is a real-time account of someone who is going through all this right now, sharing the story and is also a professional counselor. You might want to check it out. It's updated every day with her experiences on this crazy road we're all on. It's honest, raw and funny.
http://thatonebasket.wordpress.com/ is the address, in case you want to check it out. Good luck with everything. My thoughts are with you.
http://thatonebasket.wordpress.com
ergriffin, I know exactly how your feeling., my husband and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 years now.. I have managed to become pregnant 4xs and all ended in a lost. My, sister and I were both pregnant at the same time with the last pregnancy and I lost mine after 4 weeks. I was sad, disappointed and jealous also. All the feelings are very normal,but at the same time when she had my niece I just fell in love with her. She's 17 months old now, she's not mine but she has brought such a joy in my life and my husband as well, every time I look at my niece she gives me hope for one day having a child as loving and smart as she is. I know its hard and sometimes you do just want to give it I know I do. But, hang in there and keep the faith. I know first hand that's not so easy, but, I will be praying for you.
ergriffin reading your post made brought tears to my eyes. I was able to get pregnant very easily with my first child. I assumed the same would happen with our second. We did conceive but found out we lost the baby on January 6th. On January 9th we elected to have a d&c. I understand trying to be happy for others who are pregnant but being jealous at the same time. I work with several women who are pregnant. There are4 total. I also serve clients who are pregnant. I too find it hard to have balance between being happy for them and immensely jealous! I too, am a very happy and cheerful person by nature but often shut my office door and break down at work. My prayers are with you and I hope that your doctor can help you establish a plan for conceiving and carrying a healthy and beautiful baby. This post hit home for me because I too see my doctor Wednesday for my second follow up and to establish a plan for future conception and pregnancy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I totally understand how u feel, I have pcos and I'm now taking clomid and metformin, for the 3rd time. All my gf's have babies an I'm happy for them too but also jealous. Staying positive is the best way to deal also having a good support system helps. I wish u the best of luck and remember stay positive! God bless!
I know how you feel about trying not to be jealous. Most of my friends have children and had no problems while we have struggled for years and had two miscarriages. I tend to send regrets to baby showers and send the gifts that don't hurt as much to buy like diaper genies. I also have not held a baby in several years. It is to upsetting for me so I just avoid it. Hang in there and know that you aren't alone.
I'm dealing with the same jealousy problem right now. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for just over 2 years. He is 39 and I am 35. We got married 4 years ago. I've had some minor jealousy of friends around me that are having babies (even have 1 friend who has had 1 baby and is pregnant AGAIN) in the 2 years we have been seriously trying). Currently, my family knows about our problem and that we have been taking infertility meds and are starting IUI procedure this month. Our family is very close. My sister's son, who is 23 just announced to the family that they are expecting. There has not been a baby in our family for 13 years, and I was really hoping the next one would be mine. Now my own nephew is having kids before me, and I'm really starting to feel my age! I'm trying to really stay positive, and hope that IUI works for us (we are going to try it for 3-4 months), and keep telling myself everything happens for a reason. I'm really hoping we do get pregnant soon, because now I know my baby would have a cousin (second cousin) to play with their own age. I must, must, MUST not stress out, because I need to be calm and relaxed for my first IUI!!!
My girlfriend and I have been dating now for over a year and haven't exactly been trying to get pregnant just yet. I can't imagine wanting to start a family so badly though but being denied that opportunity.
It seems that if you're in good physical health, there should be no reason you can't conceive. How did the IUI go? Have you tried any purely natural remedies (http://www.achievepregnancy.com has some pretty good testimonials)?
I wish you the best of luck, and any other couples who are trying to start a family.