Getting back on track

So a couple days after my little post here, I'm sad to say I purged for the first time in over 2 months. I had restricted a lot all day and at night I thought, "You know what? I can still get my calories in for the day" So I tried. I ended up feeling sick, and I was in this weird daze from being so tired so I didn't even think. I just went to the bathroom, and well... you know.

I usually tell my boyfriend BEFORE something like this happens, but like I said I was in a daze, and I didn't feel I was binging because I was still in need of A LOT of calories for the day. I told him to come over after work to come over so I could tell him in person what I had done and he was glad that I did. We sat for a bit till he made sure I was okay, and then had to go home.

But unlike my other slips, I'm not letting this get me down. I'm done with restricting and I'm back to aiming to gain those last bit of pounds I should have on me. It's a lot nicer when you split your food out throughout the whole day eh?

On a random side note my dog is staring at me and making funny noises.... ANYWAYS lol

With this new motivation I'm also going to try to get off caffeine. Sometime last Christmas I started drinking Coke Zero so I could stay up late and to try to stop me from binging (didn't work at all) and ever since, I've been drinking a lot. Sometimes 6 cans a day! But it's not doing my stomach nor my appetite any good, so I'm ready to say goodbye. Sure a Starbucks latte or a can of pop every now and then will be okay. But I don't want it as part of my everyday diet. This is my third day without any caffeine in my system :)

And now to end on a good note, something I used to do all the time, and I think I may start again:

1) Getting to sleep in
2) Discovering a new love in provolone cheese
3) Having my cat and dog with me all day to cuddle with
4) Getting to see my boyfriend briefly today
5) Having Kung Fu today

Wishing everyone well, I know we are all strong and beautiful and we can beat this!!!

Paige xoxo

i can very much agree it is wise to spread out your calories thorugh the day--as i wait till nightime--and then end up hungry at nighttime! im just not hungry during the day--so weird. but i am going to force myself to eat during the day--so im not eating a good bulk of it at night--and then yes, you have to get those calories in, then end up being hungry late.
no, dont let a relpase get you down, i had a relapse recently but didnt know it till i almost passed out the other day! i was sooo mad ED snuck back in my life! ugh! so im buying a calorie counter to track what i eat to make sure i get enough--it is a good tool for everyone. im so happy you are trying for those last few pounds, as for me --in was never really underweight --even when i starved. or not underweight by much.

it is good to set up goals and thanks to what you have in life! i think ill do the same!

off to dinner!

love to you and best wishes in your recovery,


I love how you ended your post. And i love the fact that 1 slip will not be the undoing of you. It is true that you can get back on track.

The best thing is that you can see why you went off track. I have been thinking recently about what went wrong last week when i was determined to have a day without purging and it went wrong. I did not space out fod enough and i got freaked out with eating too much in 1 go.

I am thinking that eating times at 2 hour intervals may be a good way to start back on the right track. What are you thinking for you?

I think when i feel like the gap between meals is long, i start thinking about food too much but if i know i will eat regularly, then it may not be so much of an issue.

Your boyfriend sounds great. All that is needed at times like that is support and reassurance and that is what he gave you. I am glad you have him by your side.

Please keep going. And thank you for sharing this with us.




Thank you for your kind words :)and yes, my boyfriend is so amazing :) We just celebrated our 8 month anniversary yesterday!
The reason I went off track was because I made a meal plan for myself that kept me full...but on about ----calories...and then I started to try to get lower, and lower. I'm done with that now though :)

Two hour intervals sounds like a good idea. I find sometimes with my schedule I have to eat like that even if I'm not really hungry, but I know I wont' have enough time to get everything in.

One more tip I don't know if I mentioned for binging...if something is in a big bag, like lets say chips, don't take the whole bag with you. Put some in a bowl, and take it away to enjoy. Sit with it for 20 minutes (takes that long for you body to realize it's full) and if you're still hungry go back :)

Best of luck! Message me anytime :)
Paige xoxo

Hi everyone.... believe it or not, I know A LOT about diet/nutrition. I'm a personal trainer and am back in school getting a second degree in dietics and nutrition. So... to comment about food.... I recommend and direct all my clients through 5-6 meals a day. Since doing this for myself, my ed has become a lot better (if that's possible). I went from b/p about 3 times daily to b/p about 1 time a week (which is where I'm at right now).
I feel that taking in 5-6 meals every 2.5-3 hours really keeps my blood sugar where it needs to be and allows me to eat MANY different things throughout the day.... having a taste of everything really helps me not crave stuff I don't get to eat.
So... special, your day looks good with how often you're eating! Now you just have to stick to it!

Best of luck to all and I'll be thinking about you all!

Thanks for the great group!