I am so disappointed in God right now, and so depressed!!!!
After FORTY years of a very difficult marriage, that I was FINALLY able to get out of (with the help of the forums here) (two months ago), NOW God sees fit to give me a depression that is the worst in years????
(To be honest, until a few days ago, I was really quite “up”! Which seemed like the response I should have!)
But, now that I am actually facing moving into a much smaller place and getting rid of a lot of “our” stuff, I am falling into a huge emotional hole!!!!
And I am really ticked off that I FINALLY gotten over that incredible (Adult Children of Alsoholics) hurdle, and NOW have one of the most baffling depressions ever!
I give up! What the use! I went from the frying pan into the fire?? What for?
(Could part of this be the “much smaller place” thing? Since I do have claustrophobia?)
Greg: When I first filed for divorce, I felt a sense of peace, even though I did not want a divorce. (My husband abandoned the family, so I really had no choice). It was a few weeks later that the severe grief and sadness hit me. It all became very real. Now, the grief comes in waves and knocks me over at totally unexpected times. I sunk into depression and started on meds. I also started counseling. I have been told the grieving process is just that: a process. It has a typical path, but you can be sidetracked in your progress at any time. Sounds like for you the "up" thing you experienced may have been the denial part of grief, where you weren't really taking in what was happening. I can't imagine that depression wouldn't be a normal reaction to the loss of a 40 year marriage, even if the marriage was difficult. Hang in there. You sound normal to me.
Greg... 2011 - This year alone - my ex-husband has been into the mental hospital 5 times! He suffers from bipolar disorder (just like me) but he isn't on the right meds and he stops taking them and doesn't get the counceling he needs. Part of it is the drug and alcohol abuse issues he has, part of it is regret for the choices he has made and part of it is depression that is hereditary.
It is a VERY hard time in your life and you WILL get depressed and down. One thing that helps me is knowing it will get better. I have a couple different music playlists I use to help me through my funks. I have a playlist called "Goodbye songs".. I also have a playlist that I use to make me cry for the times when I need to indulge in the pity-party. I also have a playlist of my favorite song s to make me feel happy. Songs that are a relief!
Music and movies are a great distraction for me since I am NOT a social butterfly and don't have many close friends...
It gets better with time but there will be times that you feel in the bottom of a pit, and it is normal to feel that way. Let yourself grieve for the past. That is a sure way to be able to have a shiny outlook of the future!
i m glad that u got out honey and that u are relatively unscathed by it all the depression will lift as u adjust to the circumstances its all still a shock to the system yet for u to realise that now u can do what u want and how u want and that will be scarey i know i was scared to go shopping on my own for the first few times when my sis in law died
but as time progresses and u become more accustomed to the new life u will be happy to make the changes
God never said it would be easy but I too did not think it would be this hard. The letting go a marriage is one of the hardest things I've ever done and I have had 3 rounds of chemo and stem cell transplant. It is a letting go of a dream of that happily ever after. Read Philippians 4: 6-7. God is there to help us through our trials we need to give it all to him even if that is our anger and frustration over the situations we are in. He knows our hearts.
There will be times when we want to ask God why. Ask God to help you be only a seeker, onetrying to understand. Pray for the grace and wisdom needed to keep from questioning God about His actions, His motives and His plans. Read Job 41-2.
I to recently divorced, but I was depressed before the divorce, during and after, was on anti-depression pills for over 6 months before God delivered me from them
he showed me how blessed I was even tho, I live with my son now and had no place to live at first, so no home of my own, no money to support myself, but God told me about his promises, he did not promise that life would be easy he did not promise that i would get what i want, but he did promise I would have what I need and that he would never let me go thru something i could not handle or would destroy me. I still get down every now and then and feel the ones who I love the most are just not understanding what i am going thru, but it doesn't last long after talking To God and him showing me how bad it could of been or how bad it could be, so I am blessed.
So i say pay attention to others around you and what they are dealing with before judging if you have it that bad. God is with you or like my mother always told me it could be worse. Gods blessings to all.