Hi, I am new here and going through an ugly divorce. We were married 5 years and together for 10 years. I can't write much now, but I have 2 beautiful boys and we are fighting a custody battle right now, because I don't trust their father. He smokes marijuana on a daily bases, hourly actually, can't hold onto a job for more than a year and a half. He was always telling me I was crazy. He has just been charged with his 3rd dui. He is a pathological liar as well as his mother. I have talked to his mother trying to explain to her I believe he is depressed or something else is wrong and told her I want him to see someone for it, but shes conviced its his drinking. I have seen him push her but to this day she will deny it. In fact he would gloat about scaring her. He gets a thrill out of people being afraid of him. She is just as bad as he is she hit my 7year old boy across the chin with her house phone and when he told me infront of his father I thought his father would do something about it, but he still took them to her. If you met him you would think he is a really nice guy.
I can't prove it but I do believe he has cheated several times. He has drained me emotional and financially and now he is asking my 7 year old to keep secrets from me. He is very manipulative and has a way of getting peoples sympathy. Right now he is basically living off his employer because they feel sorry for him. He is a ranch hand and they don't have a lot of work for him to do during the winter, but they are finding things.
He would yell at me a lot infront of the boys and disrespect me. He has made threats saying if he can't have the boys joint neither one of us will.
I am worried because him and his attorney have 3 text msgs that I wrote a month before I filed for divorce saying I wanted to harm myself. HE was constantly making me think he was goign to harm himself I had to load my boys up a few times and go looking for him or call his family to help me find him. I worry what the court will think of those txt I wrote, all I wanted was for him to feel how he made me feel when he threatend suicide. He constantly told me I was crazy and there is another txt of me asking him if he told someone I was psyco. I am worried for my boys and I told their father if he sobers up and gets some counceling maybe then I would agree to him having more time, but I still feel like he is doing this out of spite.
He comes off as a wonderful dad to everyone,but they don't know what it was like, he was never home, He was off selling mj or smoking it with friends and I was always with the kids. When he was home he was yelling at me infront of them, I can remember my 7 year old asking me why he would yell and make me cry.
He also yelled at me a lot in front of the boys. He had on a number of times made me believe he was going to do harm to himself. It did get physical a few months back when he came home whiskey drunk callin me awful names at 4 am and I finally lost it and started pushing him. He grabbed me and started choking me. I was kicking him and finally got away and then he put his fist through the bedroom door. I am so worried he will get joint custody.