Hello,
This is my first time trying a suport group so please bear with me. I am 37 year old lesbian who has been a drinker all my life... i recently just seperated from my girl friend who was a pill addict. During the process i have cut back on my drinking. I went from drinking 9 beers a night to now only drinking two to three glasses of wine a night.
Problem is that since i stopped drinking the beer and started drinking the wine... i have been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder. Funny i love to drink but dont like to take pills. So no medication (narcotic pills) are going in to my system..
Everyday i cry.... everyday im in pain...i went to doctors, hospitals and they all say the same thing im not an alcoholic. i just have severe anxiety... well personally im tired of it..im tired of crying im tired of feeling like ****.. i dont know what else to do... im tired of talking about my problems, i went to jail for three years and didnt have anxiety like this...
my mom thinks its my ex girlfriend who made this happen to me,,, i think its just life in general... i dont want to feel like this anymore.... i cry at work, i cry at home, i just cry...
hello butter8274 welcome to our support group, it sounds like you also suffer maybe from some delayed depression could be from your break up?? I suffer also from anxiety and drink to much I switched from rum and coke to wine till I finally stopped 8 days ago because I also was tired of felling like sh... every day one thing I learned nobody is going to make me happy "I" have to work on that myself it sounds like you had a hard life, but the good thing is that you reached out to get help so you do want to get better one step at a time you won't be able to solve all your problems at once pick one and start slowly to make it better, or you will give up to fast if you try to many changes at once Also it could be you are in pain from your depression they say if you unhappy all the time your body will let you know. I am sure there are some things what bring you joy think of what does make you happy maybe even just a little and start every day to do something for yourself. good luck to you
haya, Butter
your post just struck me as strangely familliar. First off I think its a great idea that you are at least cutting down on the alcohol.
Four years ago I was pretty much in the same situation you are now in....girlfriend left, lost job and nearly my mind. Found it incredibly difficult to do anything in public...sniviling all over the place. I was a hot mess! I also was diagnosed with an anxiety/depression disorder. I didnt want to become dependent on the psych meds so I ignored the doc's advise and did it "my way". My way has NEVER EVER worked.
I discovered that the medication for my anxiety was not narcotic or habit forming in any way. After 1 year of parilyzing panic attacks, suicidal depression and relapsing, I finally surrendered, and got on the meds. After the initial adjustment period everything...I mean EVERYTHING got better. My lifes still a mess but now I can breathe. Its like a "yield" sign goes up right when I start to feel panicky or the dark cloud starts to hover. That pause allows me to change the thoughts and redirect onto something more productive. Just a suggestion: do a little more research on the medications before you swear them off completely, and as for the Dr's diagnosis of you NOT being an alcoholic.....get a second opinion. What it comes down to is: do YOU think you're an alcoholic? It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. Hang in there, Skye