Going to Stupid Restaurants

I don't understand the worlds obsession with going to restaurants- or at least my family's. My grandma called and wanted to do lunch and I gained the courage to actually tell her I didn't want to go to the Italian restaurant she suggested (pasta scares me..). So I picked some other random restaurant with salads and soups so I would feel okay with it. So i have been stressing about this all week, not only because of the food and not knowing the calories and what not but also because my grandmother stresses me out. She is the grandma that pushes you to eat food even if you tell her your full. And to top it all off I have not been doing so well on my meal plan and have been freaking out a lot lately.

So I went today and got some type of soup. She asked for dinner rolls because she is obsessed with bread and LOTS of butter...so I took a roll, with no butter so I would feel okay with that. I didn't want to have a mental meltdown at the restaurant of course. So then lunch comes and she has all these french fries and keeps giving them all to me and telling me to eat it.. I am so full. :( way past comfortable.

I pushed away the urge to purge and am distracting myself the rest of the day with non-stressful tasks around the house. This is all so hard. And I plan on continuing to read Gaining by Aimee Liu which is making me more positive during this whole recovery thing.

Staying positive :)


Hey! I did the exact same thing at restaurants, avoid pasta and breads (they're my downfall) and I go for the salads even though I freak out because I have no idea how many calories are them, though I make what I hope are accurate guesses. I'm sorry your grandmother pushes food on you. That is just really stressful especially cause that messes up your whole day calorie wise and mentally. Distracting yourself is definitely a good idea, I'm doing that today! I'm going to a farmers market ha just to get out of the house. Plus it kind of feeds my obsession with food, at least visually. I want to check that book out I'm glad it's helping you!


Thats so funny! I go to farmers markets or even supermarkets to do the same thing. I am super obsessed. I actually even search recipes I can make and try too all the time.

I do that too!! Literally right now I'm looking in a recipe book for something I can make for dinner. Not for me but for my family cause then I can actually use the things that I wouldn't eat, if that makes sense. It's so weird to be so food obsessed when it's actually something I want to stay away from!

I did that two nights ago as well. Do you ever try to make it healthier so you can eat it? Cause that is better than making it for just everyone else you know? I have been finding recipes and switching ingredients so its healthier and I feel more comfortable eating it giving me less of a reason to feel the need to purge or not eat it.

i do the same thing i bake and cook what to me is forbidden food for friend and family the just watch them eat it its weird that i hate the thought of eating it myself but enjoy watching those i care about. restaurants ugh i hate them i always try to avoid them at all cost but if by chance i cant the i Google the restaurant to see if the have a nutritional guide if so the i plan what i m going to eat if they dont the i eat salad with no dressing and of course diet pop i probable drink 2 maybe 3 glasses of diet pop when i go for dinner that way i fell so full I cant eat even if i wanted to this has been relised by my family recently so last time we went to diner my mother order my meal she was trying to help but all it did was cause distress i do hope that one all of us will be able to eat at a restaurant i mean really eat without distress or avoidance. lot of love leah

Hello....just a note...the common obsession with food that is seen among people who are suffering from eating disorders is because in literal terms....they are starving! When your body is deprived of something that it needs, you will likely obsess about it. Hold your breath...what are you thinking about? Breathing? Stay up for over 24 hours..what are you likely to obsess about? Sleep!
That's where the obsession with food, cooking, recipes, etc., comes from.
Jan ♥