Greif after a break up

Wow.Doesn't the mind just go nutty when you hear that your partner is not in love with you and has been thinking about breaking up for a long time? I have a problem with using..alcohol,methadone,pills...It just wore him out and we both detached...him slowly over months and me,today after the "reality check" talk.Well, it started on Friday afternoon...I had no idea he was interested in someone else! Not to put the blame,or all the blame on him,because while I was "numb",we just have had our routine for 2 years.We truly loved each other for the first few months...Then the methadone stopped working...We fought, stopped being as sexual..and then On our 2 year anniversary..we went to the methadone clinic and I felt sick,so we stayed home. Obviously I detached from him by being numb and now that I'm sober,I FEEL and see what I will lose...and the jealous obsessive thoughts erupt and I pray or call someone or get OUT!That's all for now...I hurt and ant people to share with me.I like this website.Just what I needed. Right now. :)

Hi fit2btidy, I am so very sorry for what you have gone through. I know it is hard learning all this. I am glad though to read that you are sober. Have you gone to any AA http://www.aa.org/ or NA http://www.na.org/ meetings? If not, then I suggest for you to check those out for extra help and support. Just for today - don't drink or use. Try to make a meeting. Keep hanging in there and sharing with us. I will say a prayer for you. ((((hugs))))

Thank you so much for the message you wrote to me.YES, I have been going to meetings and reaching out.I still feel like my ex( it's so weird writing that!) is detached as that usually happens when people live with alcoholic/addicts. I had trouble sleeping for the past few days and flaked on people(like not meeting them at meetings ) or just staying at home and sorting through all of our/my stuff.He is away for the weekend with family.So, I gave in to my worn out mind and body to rest but, going to a meeting tonight.He is away for the weekend which helps.Thanks so much for the links.I saved them in my bookmarks folder!

Much love

Good Morning fit2btidy, How are you doing today? Did you go to a meeting last night? Regardless of how things go with your ex, you need to focus on yourself and focus on staying sober and clean.

I have nights sometime where I can't sleep. I usually come online and do some things online and also do some house work that is quiet so as not to wake anyone. If I don't want to get up, then I read for a while.

I hope you are doing better today. Keep in touch and let us know. Keep taking it one day at a time. ((((hugs)))))

I agree... I also love this site. Just last Sunday the mother of my children and my 9 months twin boys left me and went back to her mothers in central america due to my alcohol addiction. She wouldnt return my call and just yesterday I was able to talk to her. She is very upset with me, but she said she still loves me but that she is really hurt about all the things I did during my carrer as a FREAKING drunk. I asked her if we were still a relationship, her response hurt me so much, but gave me hope. She said that for now she doesnt want to talk much about our relationship, that maybe with time IF ( the big IF) I showed or demonstrated change in my life she will consider coming back to me. That even though she loves me she needs to think about our kids and her. All I can say is that in my case I want to be sober and straighten my life whether or not she is in my life or not because I do want to get married and have children one day, but I need to FIX myself first. I'm only 8 days sober going to meetings every day. Thats what is keeping me alive right now. You have no idea how loaded I want to get right now, but I am not. I want to stop being a coward and confront my problems sober. Dont worry. Everything is going to work out just fine. Just let God control your life. Take care fit2btidy.

Hi nuevavida, Congratulations on 8 days! You are taking the right steps. Keep going to your meetings. Do you have a sponsor yet? You are right in that you have to do this for yourself and no one or nothing else. Keep taking it one day at a time. Just for today don’t drink. Keep on sharing with us. I know how much it helps me to talk with others. I hope today is better for you. I will pray for you. ((((hugs))))