my husband of 41 years passed away march 23rd. i have never felt so alone. i dont want to get dressed or go out unless i have too. how do i start? my husband was ill since 2002 with copd,so i quit my job to be with him. thats all i knew so where do i start? help me please !!!!
1 Heart
Dear Susie,
I'm so incredibly sorry about the loss of your husband. There are many wonderful, amazing people here who will have good information and advice for you. I haven't experienced this type of loss so please forgive me for not having any answers for you. I just wanted to tell you how sincerely sorry I am that you've suffered this terrible loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs, Suzee
im so sorry that u losed u dearest lov but truly u havent hes always with u even thou you cant see him and my step dad died the same day and its also been 4 years
Dear susie61, I'm sorry for your loss. My husband had bad genes and didn't take care of himself he became disabled n 2006. I watched him waste away. I have good days and not so good.
It been 45+days, just sharing my experience. Hoping you may find that what your feeling is normal. Starting this next chapter of our lives can be a little frightening ....but with patience, faith n grace you can make it!
Dear susie61, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my high school sweetheart and married 35 years almost 2 years ago. He was my whole life and we lived for each other. All I could say is I STILL take one day at a time. Looking past each day hurts too much. I still cry everyday and miss him and his love soo much. I am working which I know helps but take your time because its hard to tackle too many responsibilites. I still dont know how I got this far. You need a lot of support from family members or good friends. I wish u all the best and an easy road ahead :)
Dear Susi61, I am so sorry for your loss. I know your loss because I just lost my husband of 48 years in April of 2011. He also was my whole life. We went everywhere together and did everything together. We had both retired and thought we had many years ahead of us to enjoy life. Then suddenly one morning he woke up not feeling well. Within one month he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I lost him. It hurts to get up in the morning and not see him. I try to act strong in front of my friends and family - but I am not strong. I cry by myself alot. We both need to be strong for them, Susie. Neither your husband nor mine would want to see us sad. We both need to remember the good times we had and look forward to seeing them again some day. Hoping that we both become stronger day by day.
Dear Susi61, I know exactly how you feel. My husband died on Feb. 19, 2011. He was the love of my life and my best friend. He had been very sick for a long time with COPD and heart disease. I took care of him. The last 4 months we had Hospice. I wish I could cry. I will pray for you and hopefully you will pray for me. All I want to do is sleep, it is so hard to talk about it. We met when we were 3 yrs old, began dating when I was 16, married at 19, we had been together 51 years.
Oh my dear you start step by step. My husband was sick for a long time . My life revolved around his. I never had any time for anything and then all of a sudden all I had was time - tons and tons of empty time on my hands with nothing to do. I didn't want to do anything with the time either. Eating, getting dressed or cleaning the house were beyond me. What I did best was cry. I was very good at it.
A friend came by one day and was extremely upset to see what I was doing to myself. She came back with some of her famous chicken soup and a couple of trashy novels. Believe it or not both helped. The books enabled me to escape from my pain for a little while. In order to get more books (no computer at the time) I had to get dressed and go out. As long as I was out I would pick up a few things and then I'd have a little food in the house. The thing just kind of grew. My advise is this try to find something that is not harmful of course that will let you escape for a little bit from the pain and to fill up some of the emptiness. It might help.
Regardless it isn't easy. It just hurts so much.
After spending years taking care of my husband I find myself at a loss trying to figure out what I should do now. I feel like my purpose is gone. However I am not going to give up and you shouldn't either.
My very best to you - I will put you on my pray list.
How does a person go on after losing their spouse of 21 years, I have been a holding pattern and feel so lost. He was only 58, had surgery to repair a tendon in his shoulder and a week later I found him at home. He died alone and I can't get the vision out of my head. I feel I'm going crazy
Susie, My heart goes out to you and to all the ladies who have posted here. Reading your post and all of the others was like reading my own thoughts. Your situation is a bit different than mine. My husband of 38 years died suddenly from a brain hemorhage three years ago. I had to go back to work after a few weeks, but it was very difficult. During those first few weeks I didn't want to get dressed or go out. Just going to the grocery store made me cry. I just bought milk, cereal, yogurt, and eggs, just to have some food in the house. That way I could get out of the store quickly and go home. Even after returning to work, I worked a short day and couldn't wait to get home where I could cry in privacy. I still find it hard to be around people for more than a few hours at a time.
One thing that really helped me was attending a six week support group at Hospice. Being able to talk to other recent widows was good. The other thing was that we started doing things together, helping each other take baby steps back into life. It really took the strength and courage of those ladies to help me start to have some semblance of a life.
Even though my husband was not ill for a long time, my life still revolved around him. Our children are grown, and we thought we had some years left to enjoy our empty nest. I felt like I didn't know what to do next. I still don't know. I just get up every day and put one foot in front of the other.
Give yourself time to grieve. You will know when it's time to join the human race again. We are here whenever you need to talk.
Hugs,
Sparkle
Prays going thru it my self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y82xevB0WIE
made a video of a poem I wrote about my son's father. Watch it it sweet and migght help. HUGS
From Mental & Physical Abuse to Grief & Loss