I am married twice and I am seperated from my husband, he was sexting and he is an alcoholic, just out of the hospital and has contacted me for support. My grown children are so upset that I have contact with him, they want me to divorce him in the worse way, but we both still have feelings for each other. I am about to lose my house of 21 years as well. I sometimes think I should re-think it because this man sober is the best person in the world, we were married 7 years and lived together for a year. I want to stop loving him but after 8 months its not happening and I am so lonely and cry all the time, not sure what to do anymore, my children are from my first marriage, they are 24 and 21 both girls, I know they are trying to protect me but should I follow my heart or learn from the lessons and move on.
It sounds like you and I are in similar situations. I was married in 2000. Our child was bornin 2002. 6 months later my spouse melted down and cleaned out the house while I was out of town with the children. I also have a child from a first marriage. Long story short, we reconciled in 2004, but have lived in separate houses near each other and had sort of a 'pretend marriage' ever since. Weird, yes, but we were happy. Now my husband has unraveled again. This time, I kind of saw it coming. He handed me his cell phone on May 12 and took off. I filed for divorce a couple days later. I knew I couldn't wait out two years while he screwed around and tried to feel better. He will not seek counseling. I am very very much in love and attracted to him when he is well. I am very torn about this. My friends and family are sick of hearing me. It is humiliating to love a broken person. I get where you are coming from, but I don't have answers for you. Somewhere deep inside me I must have self-esteem issues that I believe it is my job to fix a broken person and sacrifice myself to do so. I wish you luck.
my husband just got out of detox and is getting help but my fear is will this happen again? Financially I will lose everything if we divorce my children do not understand althought they are grown, they think they are the parent and I am the child. Thanks for your advice greatly appreciated, I must have the same self esteem issues my first husband was broken as well.
My first husband was an alcoholic. He has been successfully sober for 7 years through AA. However, he is still narcissistic, superficial, and controlling. AA fixed his drinking problem, period. The other problems that probably caused the drinking in the first place are still there in full force. Detox is helpful and I think there is hope for your husband. However, all he is now is a broken man who doesn't drink. Unless he gets serious counseling for the OTHER problems, you will still have problems. My first ex husband is a way better man now than when we were married, but he has all the original problems, minus the alcohol. Still, I believe your husband can improve, IF he is willing to get therapy as a sober man.