Guys, im really over! i just can't stop check! i always check on internet like , how did u get that ur homosexual, or how i know if i homosexual, how did u know if u homosexual, i always check porn and gay porn, and now im really over stress! cuz, straight porn really boring me, i watched this when i checked like 3-5 times a day! and this make me born, gay porn dosen't make this good horny feel, like was to me from straight porn 3 month ago! but those fourmos make me really anxiety more, cuz there are stories like me! and one more thing im really reallyy anxiety and all this HOCD start from 3 things, straight that been gay on 90210, dream a dream on gay kiss with friend and started check that this is make my obssesion, now i remind this story on 90210, that he like girls, but when he was child he slept with a guy or something, and then from straight he was gay, like i have little similar story, when i was child like 8 years old i played with my friends, like kiss on bed or something i don't know why i did it, but all the time i liked girls, so this really strange when i wass 6 years old i remmber i crushed on girls, and when i start the school ( im 14) i crushed on all girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and all the time on class i imaged my self kiss with girls, and i really wanted kiss a girl ( now i have images too but with the HOCD like i image girl and obssesion like i like her or this boy more? what i like more and this is really really broking me!!!! how the hell! 3 month ago all i wanted is girl and if i imaged my self kiss a boy i was realyl disturbing, all the time i was horny on girls and watched straight porn, and i remmber when i was little child i watched a porn and got horny from this, so wtf? im realyl anxiety cuz i have similar story like this gay on 90210! and i i don't get horny from girls like before, and i watched gay porn 2 times and masterbuted on this but didn't get horny really horny because thats was strange like 2 boys together and touch but i mreally sceard im thin kabout it 24\7 and i cant stop checkkkkkkk!!!! im all the time need find 1 pepole story like me! and i cannot find and this iss make me more anxiety! and one more think i have a friend i opend to him obssesion ! and like all the time i see him! im think omg is him and feel this stress wt anxiety and butterflies like i want kiss him??? i attraction to him?? and more like! and i don't know and this is make me anxiety more, and i afraid to talk to this guy and im think im crush on him because of this, but i cant image my self date with him like, u know walk togheter and kissed and hug like touch but i have this feel like im lie my self but this is really strange to me date with boys all the time i date with girls, and u know i wear nice close and really wanted this like talk and touch hands and like with boys its really strange that u doo special thing like this i want it with girls i really want girls attracted to me and im to them but i have few rthings and make me think im gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw a friend penis i get stress with this feel like omg i want it or not ( of curse i don't want it like but i had this strange felling that make my self think im lie to my self) annd those things i tell more but i really like girls so why? can it change on 3 months like if i was all the time straight, and now gay or bi? this is possible? and i think i was bi or gay all the time cuz of this fuu**** game when i was child so wt?????? im realy stress and i cant stop check!!!! and cant stop think about it what to do?
Guys please answer, more few hours i have hang out with friends and im realyl sceardddd im have bad feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what to dooo?????????????????????
Sounds like you have a salad of thoughts going on stop using porn for a instrument of sex disire and relate to yourself check your hormone levels with a hormone doctor
@fly
I go to doctor next week
but im afraid like i cant talk about my HOCD, and i afraid that i sound like real gay but im realy like girls but like u said have a salad on my head that work 24\7!
@HeadpHOCD21 do not overlook this matter may be something more remember it is just a thing nature does wrong not your fault so do not be afraid
Hello, you are not alone in your distress. We in this group know exactly what you're going through. The checking, the weird feelings when you look at a male friend, the porn, it has happened to us. Beating this is a long road, and not easy. You have to understand some things before.
1) HOCD is a mental illness in which your brain reacts to certain thoughts with huge anxiety, like it would do when you are at danger. the brain perceives your fear of being gay as very dangerous and makes you want to do things to stop the thoughts. When you check porn to stop the thoughts, you can get some relief at first, but in reality what you are doing is telling the brain that those thoughts are really a danger, so the brain will constantly attack you with thoughts and anxiety, because it learned (from you) that to feel better you must disprove the thoughts.
2) It is very common for children to have same sex experience early in life, when you play "doctor" or other games. It's an innocent way of exploring one's and other's body and is not indicative of sexual attraction.
3) I had the same experience with straight porn, i used it to check myself all the time, until one day it also bored me! I was terrified. But you have to be rational. It's obvious that if you see the same thing over and over again for weeks, it will eventually bore you! So I decided not to check or masturbate, for a week. After that, straight porn no longer was boring. And now i am going for a two-week challenge of not checking.
and DONT MASTURBATE TO GAY PORN! It will only confuse you. First of all, gay sex is sex after all, and it's normal that the brain reacts sexually to sex videos. And secondly, if you masturbate you are stimulating your genitals. You could be thinking of an apple tree and masturbate and be able to cum. Thats why you should never masturbate to check, because you will achieve orgasm and it will only confuse you.
About your fear of seeing a doctor, we all feared that they would tell us that we are just gay, but they don't. For me it has been a great improvement. But be sure to see an OCD specialist.
Be strong and don't forget we are here to support you.
Cheers