Guys im really sceard im really feel im changed, like i know i don't want be with boys, i know i don't want share my love with boys, kiss them from love and sleep with them no!!!!!!!!! but it iss realllyyyyy scary me im all the time think im lie to my self, u know i can't just can't i can't watch porn like before and really get horny, can't be happy, like i want girlfriend, but all the time i talk with my friends i just get a fear like **** im gay, all the time im talking with my friends, they share those things like u need a girlfriend, how i want this girl, how i watched porn u know, i really w***s likee this, and now im nott, im over and over thinking about it non-stop, i want girlfriend, but i have fearr fear that i lie my self u know, fear this is not me and if i will be with girl, i will not attracted to her, but im yes why im fear from this, im really feel like im gay, all the time my friends talking about girls this is broking me just, they fu*** don't now that im fighting with a **** like, i like girls i can't get horny but i can't gett horny from modell boyss so wtf???????? no matter how i will try i can't image my face kiss a model boy or something, i like girls im not get horny from them before u know, this is broking me i can't be like before, talk about girls and be 100% with my self and get horny from them 100%, now all the time i lissten something about sexuality, im done, like all the time my frends look this nice *** and like this, and i remind like ****, im attracted to this and remind all gay and girl and all sexuality stuff, why? why i really like girls i know it, but why this is like this, i really fear, and im fear the therapist will not help me, few days ago, i got that i have an ADHD, and because of this the HOCD startted, u know, and the Neurological told me, that is normal that other problems will get from ADHD and lot of anxiety and obssesion, now im more scary that im gay i don't know why, why im all the time think im gay, i don't like boys but idk all the timei see an a handsome boy i get in my head his look good **** maybe im gay and startt checking and getting fear and anxiety, this is really back me, im really fear a lot things, and im fear this is will stock on me all my days until i will on army and all my fu**** teen life will destroyed, i want a girlfriend, but i fear i will kiss and sleep with her without attraction but i don't want boy but i fear i will love boys and will attracted to them and want do sex with them, im really over but i like girls this obssesion just broke my mind u know, like this is like a fu**** monster in my head, that don't leave me, 3-4 month ago all i wanted is be with girls and sex and kiss with them, now i afraid and can't get horny from this, howw? how this is changed how this is possible, all my life i was 100% straight how this is changed but i like girls so wtf? please help me im really confused i don't know what i want from my self im really fear from this, all my life just sick, i can't be happy like before, all the time my mind non stop checking and thinking about sexuallity this is really ****. help! and sorry my english..
Don't watch any kind of porn for the time being - specially in order to check your reactions. Don't check your reactions in general. Ever. Period.