Guys there's definitely something wrong with me. last night I apologize to my ex for overreacting when he told me the truth. but I was just in my feelings about the past even though I have a right to be angry. But I apologized and then he replied and said something and last night it had woke me up and it kind of made me angry that I was woken up but also at the same time I was angry because I felt like his response totally disregarded everything that I said. So I was kind of upset and kept it real brief in my respond by saying that I was sorry for what I said and then I told him to go read the rest of the situation if he wasn't sure what I was referring to. My former partner has a tendency to not want to read everything that I write because I write so much and I can't help that because I feel like I have to in order for him to understand. I hate small vague messages. but like I said this time in my response after I was woken up I kept it real quick and I just told him to go back to the message I sent him if he wasn't sure what I was talking about. So that I didn't have to repeat myself and then I quickly said goodnight because like I said I was kind of irritated that I was woken up.
And the reason why I think I have an issue is because I was expecting him to be hostile but I reread his message in response to my response a couple of times and I'm not sure how to feel. Because I don't think he was being hostile but my mind wants to turn it into a hostility. I'm so used to arguing with him that it caught me off guard. so then I had to like tell myself to just not even reply to what he said because I didn't want to start an argument.
It makes me depressed a little bit that that's how my mind is trying to react. And now I wonder if that's what happened during a lot of our conversations. I mean I know that I had the right to react certain ways when I was upset and at the same time I didn't have the right to act a certain way, in an uncivil way, but maybe I overreacted in some situations which caused us to end up arguing more than we should.
I'm just doing a lot of self reflecting.