Had to give up long time occupation because of the pain

I have been a hairstylist for 18 yrs.I had to give my notice 2 wks ago because my body just can't take it anymore. I am a mother of 2 boys, ages 13 & 10, and between taking care of my family and keeping up w/ everyday household activities standing on my feet for 8 hrs a day has become just too much.It's very emotional giving up something that's been your life choice, something I'm good at and love, but my body tells me it's just too much.Very frustrating! I work w/ people close to my age and to them I LOOK fine, but they just can't understand how much pain I'm actually in because it's not something they can see. I feel judged, but I know I have to take care of myself so I don't end up in worse predicament or become a burden on my loved ones!So hard to feel like you should be caring for them when alot of the time they have to help out because of the way I feel physically! I have never been a slacker or lazy and I feel like that's what my coworkers are thinking. "Oh she's just a complainer, and it's all in her head!" I pray they never know what Fibromyalgia feels like!"

I completely understand! I also have back problems and arthritis. I had to go on disability almost 2 years ago. It was hard to give up my job, but I know that it was time to take care of me. Then, on July 5. 2010 my husband suddenly passed away of a heart attack. The stress has been high and the pain almost intolerable. By the end of the day I can barely walk. I am not sleeping, not eating well.... I know this adds to the Fibromyalgia pain but I am just trying to get through each day however I can. Good luck in your future. I hope you are able to get some rest and get the pain under control.

Thanks Tinag! I hope you too are able to find some comfort, both emotionally and physically. Do you have other family around you? From what I hear going on disability can be a challenge in itself just going through the process., trying to get them to accept your claim. My feet keep swelling up and the one on the left hurts so bad I can barely walk on it. I’ve just weened myself off Prozac for OCD and depression becaus eof the side effects. I’ve been on it for 10 yrs. and I’m wondering if it hasn’t made my symptoms worse. It’s so hard to know what to take because of all the side effects. Pluggin’ along myself and hope you will too! Thanks again for your post.

Hi, I went on disability through my employer, and yes, it was very challenging. I have applied for Social Security, been turned down twice, and now am waiting on a hearing. I do have a lot of family support. I am not sure if I told you or not, but I lost my husband last month. Family is all I have now. It has been quite an ordeal, trying to deal with him not being here with me. He was a wonderful man! He took very good care of me, and now I am alone. I miss him so much I can't stand it. I hope you find some relief.

Thank you and I hope you too can heal from the absence of a great husband. I too have a been blessed with a great man, but I realize he is only on loan from God. I hope you know that you are not alone and that time does help things. We just have to not throw the towel in and keep on keeping on! God bless you!

I too had to give up a long-time occupation of 16 yrs in 2005. I too have fibromyalgia. I look fine to anyone who looks at me. I used to get stared at for parking in the handicap stalls. How rude people can be, by staring at you when you hobble when you walk and stare at your feet. LOL Got to laugh at their rudeness now. I filed for social security and got denied twice, hired an attorney and within 6 months I was approved and got my back pay and disablity checks. That was exactly a year ago, next month. Having fibromyalgia is a life long struggle and I too thought I had licked it, but it resurfaced and then one day I couldn't walk anymore... that was May 2005. I am alone, getting a divorce, from a man I thought was my support but who got more verbally abusive. So I said enough is enough and I'm happier for it. Not saying that I'm not scared. But I try to take each day slowly and do what I can when I can. In a new state, looking for a doctor at the moment. I must say that I'm lucky that my fibro was caused by a work injury and work comp pays for my treatments and meds (I kept my medical open for life (filed twice with work comp). So that is a blessing. I am greatfull to be free from that man that was not a nice supportive man and on my own again. Mind you, its not easy. I was very angry for a very long time when I couldn't work... but time does heal some things, not all. Hang in there. Hope this helps you. Hugs Kat

Good for you for being freed of someone that was not supportive. I too went through a divorce about 11 yrs. ago from a man that sounds similiar in character. Best decision I ever made. I’m sorry you’re alone but if it’s meant for you to have someone special in your life I believe you will. I live in an area where it’s very hard to get into see Dr’s. so I am waiting to get into a rheumatologist again to see if if they can diagnos further. Being around supportive people makes all the difference. I am blessed now with a husband that is truly a Godsend. I just feel like right now in the past few weeks that I am moving in slow motion in everything I try to do. I 'm trying to take everything one step at a time but I feel like an 80 yr. old woman when in truth I’m only 37. It’s just frustrating when you can’t do the things you use to do. That’s why it’s a great life if ya don’t weaken! Thanks for your post it does help to know that there are others out there! Take care and God bless! Tanya


I understand completely. I"m a 37 yr old auto repair shop manager (formerly) that had to essentially give up my career due to not being able to walk some days, hell, some days getting fron the bed to the bathroom to the sofa is a challenge. I seem to find that in the warmer months I can do more. This past winter was really tough on me, after being told I was out of the auto repair industry 3 yrs ago, i went back to school and got a medical degree... and a job working at a local hospital as a care partner (read glorified candy stripier) I injured my back (which I've had problems with for years, and filed for short term disability after having a sever relapse into depression (which i won)now its the fight of my life for social security. the amount of meds im on is astounding (to me) and still there are alot of days when i wont leave the house... sure, maybe Ill go out to the garage and tinker with one of 2 project cars i have (which seems to be the only thing that takes my mind off the depression, temporarily) but then my body starts screaming and its time to go back in the house. Being a guy diagnosed with fibro really sucks, because no-one seems to understand and they look at me as if im some kind of wimp. I'm used to working a 60-70 hour work-week, and now am lucky if I can get out in my garage for a few hours a week. sometimes I can do housework, my fiance' works 45-50 hours a week to support us and it make me feel like crap because I still feel as if I'm the one who should be out bringing home the bacon...

Fibromyalgia and depression, seem to go together like peanut butter and chocolate for me. too bad they both taste terrible.

as the days (and nights cool off) im beginning to feel my fibro again, and i dont like it.

which adds to my depression and feelings of not being a "Man"

thats really all I have to say... but you are not alone... and God knows there have got to be other men out there diagnosed with fibro too... too bad i havent met any of them... it would be so nice to talk to a guy who has fibro and can help me get over this "complex" of sorts I have ...

Men are only 5% of those diagnosed with fibro, probably because of our ego's....

Thanks so much for your honesty,and you are not the only guy with Fibromyalgia. I live in Northern Me where it's brutely cold and there is a guy I know up here who also suffers from it. We always tell each other we're thinking of the other when we ourselves are having a more difficult day because we know we can relate to each other. Especially on a rainy cold day. I believe you are right that more men suffer from it than are heard of because of the whole Manly men hype. Hang in there. It's a great life if ya don't weaken. I can totally relate to the whole just getting out of bed thing. Once I get push through the pain I can usually move a little better but then as the day progresses it seems to be times of feeling up and down. And depression and fibromyalgia do go hand in hand. I hope you have a good support group of people that try to understand althoough I don't think anyone truly understands unless they go through it themselves. And yes looking okay but not feeling okay is truly a challenge around other people who just don't get it. As far as feelin like you should be bringing home the bacon I completely understand as I was brought up w/ that old fashion way of thinking and I myself feel that stress of bvringing in less money, but let's face it we are in a much more modern world where sometimes two women live together and they both bring home the bacon :) Maybe you just need better friends who are more supportive or just need to give YOURSELF a break! :) Hang in there and if you have someone in your life that you love and loves you, then that's all the reason to keep on keepin on! Thanks for your comment!


Fav. quote "It's a great life if ya don't weaken!"