All I have to say is WOW. I am on day FIVE of being free from my symptoms of bulimia. I have never felt this good and this time I feel that this could really be it. I decided a few days ago I was going to give this my all, and it's scary how "easy" this is when I am in the right mindset.
I really feel my idea of setting out a jar, and putting a penny in it for every day I go without purging is the sole reason as to how I have gone almost a week without purging. I was so tempted last night to purge, I felt huge but all I could think of was those pennies in that jar, and how I really wanted to put another penny in it this morning. If I would have purged, this morning I would have had to dump all the pennies out and start over.
My boyfriend and mom know about my jar, and they both think that it is a wonderful idea. It really gives me that visual reminder and allows me to think about my actions before I act on them. I think this could really be it! It's amazing how great my body feels after only a week of being free. I feel strong, confident, and like I can do anything I put my mind to.
I really would suggest everyone try this idea, I mean... it may sound silly but this is the only thing that I have ever tried (and I've tried everything from writing, to distracting myself, to affirmations, to avoidance, to even relaxation techniques) that is actually giving me results. I haven't gone this long without purging, and I realize my life is SO much better without this disease! It was almost as if my purging kept me tied to my negative thoughts, because I find without it, I am so much happier, healthier, and so much more confident and carefree. I feel I am slowly finding that old me again that is burried so deep underneath this ED. I am motivated and most importanlt I am strong! And I hope to one day completely fill my jar with pennies :)
Congratulations! This story is really helpful. Allowing yourself to give value to your recovery as a measurable accomplishment seems like a really great idea. Good luck. You deserve all that you are giving to yourself!
OH MY GOD this is one of the most amazing things I've ever read!!! More amazing than entire novels even!! (And I'm a avid reader, so that's saying a lot about the powerful influence this post is having on me!)
I have an idea...and at this point NO idea is too silly for me to at least try out...it's feeding off of your idea to put a penny in a jar for every day you go living as the REAL you, but I'm also adding-on having the jar as a reminder that I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS. Every time I see the jar I'm going to remember that I'm not alone, and that others are working hard at the exact same things I am. You have inspired me to STOP relapsing for the rest of the evening (I've been doing it all day...I'm so weak-of-spirit and melancholy today) and do something my soul really, truly feels like doing. You're an inspiration! Love it!! Take care!
Its great that your boyfriend and mom know about the jar too because that gives you more motivation not to have to empty it because they would know. I really love this idea. I too am happily a week without purging, and you are right, if you can really flip that switch and get into the right mindset, it's not that hard. I have felt much less depressed and my anxiety has been better!
Thank you guys so much for all of the support! And please Kirsten, let me know if the jar idea works for you too! I told someone else about it and they started their own jar, and so far it's really helping them too! If this idea seriously works, I want to tell everyone! Maybe this is what we all needed! I now have five pennies in my jar for five complete days without purging and it really does feel like the beginning :)
Reading your response Kristen really made me feel so inspired and amazing! You have such a great way with words and it makes me feel so good to see that I just might have helped you in some way. We are not alone, and it is so awesome that we are all here to share our stories of not only success but also our tips and struggles!
And congratulations jasper! A week really is a long time considering how much of a habit binging and purging have become. May I ask how you managed to go a week without it?
hi lookingonthebright...
thanks for this. i think this is worth a shot too as i'm like our dear friend Kristen :) and will try ANYTHING.
just so that i know... you put a jar in each day that you go b/p FREE or just purge free... sorry i just want to be clear.
also, what happens if you slip up - do you just dump the pennies out? has this happened yet and if so how did you find the motivation to pick yourself back up???
please please do not take these inquiries as negative..i just want to be realistic for me (not in any way saying you would slip). i just know after 15-ish years of this... my recovery is tough...
thanks so much for the inspiration... getting my jar out NOW and will post my results. i'm on day 2 of bp free but of course today is easter..... i'm hoping to put 3 pennies in tomorrow a.m. :)
xoxo,
caroline
Justme, as of right now I am putting a penny in the jar for everyday I go without purging. To me, that is my most important step in recovery. And while I have had a few days where I have had a small binge, just knowing that I cannot purge keeps me from binging like I usually do.
I started my jar last tuesday, so I have been five full days without any purging. So as of right now I haven't had to empty my jar. But IF I do purge, I plan to dump all of the pennies out and start over. I feel the more pennies I get in the jar, the stronger I become and the more I have no desire to purge. Right now the pennies barely fill the very bottom of the jar, and I don't want to have to start over already. I worked hard for those five pennies, and it really is a constant reminder as to the journey I'm on and the life I deserve.
I am so glad to see other trying this idea! I have tried so many things and this really is helping me, and I would love to see it helping so many others too! Please let me know how this idea is working for you :)
Thanks for the update. I'm so happy it's working for you.
I posted in your other thread, when you decided to start the jar, and I can't wait to start my own jar tomorrow.
Cheers
This is awesome - I feel so positive and I haven't even started my jar yet lol.
Something so small - but I really believe this can work.
Thumbs up to you. :)