Hard time

Hi everyone, I'm new to the group. I've been newly diagnosed as having ED-NOS. Over the past 9 months I have dropped a significant amount of weight and have gone from being clinically obese, to what most consider a 'normal weight'. I used meal replacement shakes as a source to achieve this. I am now at the point where I will not consume any food what so ever and souly rely on the shakes to keep me going. It has been 2 months since any real food has entered my mouth.

I am currently attending a support group and have expressed that I feel that it is just not enough to help me through this. I am struggling each and everyday. I cry - I want to eat, I want it more then anything. I fear bingeing and going back to being obese. I exercise compulisvely for 2 hours everyday.

Today is thanksgiving in Canada, I wanted more then anything to be able to attend dinner with my family. I couldnt do it. I cried the whole day instead. Does it ever get any easier?

Lilac,

It DOES get better, dear... But you definitely need the help of a professional. ♥ I also started out struggling with bingeing. I have tried tons of diets over the years, and found my first "success" with meal replacement shakes. :P I lost and regained my weight every time. Until I "succeeded" at developing anorexia. An eating disorder is HELL. Pure and simple. Ironically, it was my final achievement of "skinny" that prompted me to look for help... I couldn't stop myself from dieting and weighing and working out... There's a special kind of fear that comes with losing weight... When will it come back??? :0/ It doesn't have to... But you're right to fear bingeing... Undereating leads to it. You can address this problem now, before it has the chance to get worse... I suggest seeing a therapist and possibly a nutritionist. It's not bad to ask for help, but it is torture to need and deny it...

Love to you,

Jen

Hi hopeful, thanks for the response. I am currently seeking help at an ED clinc via group therapy. I feel I almost need inpatient care to get through this. I am miserable, ive lost interest in all relationships in my life, im irritable, depressed, scared and sad. Not to mention all the physical aspects - hair loss, dizzy spells, fainting, constantly cold and of course the hunger.

You say you also started with meal replacement shakes? I am monitored weekly by my family physican and the ED clinic, im told that if i refuse to eat, to continue with the replacement shakes as it atleast has some nutritional value and im atleast putting something, anything into my body. I lost a ton of weight using these shakes but now they are my kryptonite...that is all my mind and stomach will allow me to have. I bloat and get gasy if i try and eat anything other then the shakes.

I'm in a position now where I feel like i am at the very end of the rope and its either now or never that i start to eat again...problem is i just cant do it :(
Food is what got me overweight, i fear becuase I have not eaten in so long i will instantly gain everything back.