Has anyone been conned out of money ? My narc has borrowed over 5000.00 over the past 2.5 years and for one reason or another I've been conned into not having him pay me back. The more I think of it it makes me furious
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You will never see it so let it go. I spent over $100,000 on my ex narc over the last 2.5 years. They just take and take and never return anything but misery and pain....
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@renegade007 I know I will never see it the minute I mentioned he didn’t have to pay me back he accepted that and kept “borrowing” more. Always had an emergency that he promised he would pay back, tax levy, screwed up vacation pay so I paid for his sons vacation. I paid the down payment on his sons car. We, were friends before we became involed. I see his son all the time knowing I bought all this stuff for him and I can never tell anyone because he’s blackmailing me. Im so ashamed and hurt. I feel so foolish thinking he lover me. There is nothing more hurtful than being used and lied to when you are so generous
I have 'lost' money on people in the past. They 'needed the money to pay rent or some other 'good' reason. Wanting to be the 'good' guy' and rescuing others I 'lent' money to people. I haven't seen a cent in repayment and honestly now don't expect to see it. I have been both angry with them and myself.
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@tabbylady - yeah, I have given up on getting the money back. One of them goes to a bar we used to go to (I don’t go there anymore) and would stare at him. He finally even made a comment to me about the money. Several years he got sick and now has to have dialysis 3 times a week. When he was initially in the hospital I would stop by and see him everyday. I was the only one to do this. So I feel that he may have my money, he lost a friend.
@tabbylady - one of them was also an alcoholic. Another thing I’ve learned is that most alcoholics are irresponsible and now I stay away from.
rule of thumb .........never loan what you are not willing to lose............people whom constantly borrow and unable to manage money have chosen to leach off of those whom do handle money...........I learnt to stop supporting leaches
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@dare - glad to hear that you have stopped supporting leaches. 2 guys are going to rent some rooms in my house. I had a previous renter who went a couple of months either not paying me or only paying part of the rent. The problem was that he was a friend so I let him stay. I am not friends with these 2 guys so it should be easier for me to tell them to leave if they don’t pay the rent or if there are any other problems. With my friend we never had any rules which was part of the problem. This time I’m going to tell them what they can do and what they can’t.
My narc ex is the same too... they make me feel bad if I don't lend him the money and he always promises to pay me back but when the time comes, he makes up an excuse or claims that he shouldn't have to. I think it's just that boundaries need to be set
Yeah i maxed out my credits and forked over all my tax returns for his get rich quick schemes. He claims he's going to help me pay off my credit cards. I jave my doubts...
my son wants others to pay his path...........few years ago he was I jail and phoned me .......needed money to get out of jail...........I read him the act...........you broke the law you had the time to pay , you choose to not pay, you do the jail time ...........I work for my money hard and I do not break the law .............he thought he wold punish me and not contact me for 2 months........he later confessed his step mom took his dads credit card and bailed him out ...........he never paid step mom back but called her a stupid B---, I told him he was wrong to treat her or his father that way.........this week he reconnected with his x and said he was single and worked them ...........we saw him holding hands with his present lover ......sister told his x he is not single but still with the one he fooled around on them with..............people need to learn consequences for actions but when we give them money, excuses , or time we teach them they can succeed at using others...........I wish my son was not a user but he is as his father taught him not me...........my ethics and standards did not stick.............walk away from users........so they lose a car or do not eat the next time they will buy food before luxuries and pay bills on time.........they take it out on you remind them they choose to buy in over their head.........my daughter is awesome with her money but she was around her dad barely............I could retire now if I had nto accepted losers using me for money in my past
@dare My son only calls me when he needs money to buy a car, pay the rent or get a new tattoo. I stopped giving him money (he is 30) and he has not spoken to me in six months…
Money? Sorry. I don't want to go there. Your stories have said it all. There is nothing I can add. The narcs feel "entitled" to take whatever you give and to never pay it back. Don't even bother think about it. It's the price you pay for never having to loan them money again.
I supported my ex narc while he went back to school to get a masters. He promised to pay off my student loan debt in return she he graduated. When he did graduate, he got his dream job making a lot of money and dropped me like a bad habit :(
why do I still feel sad that it's over? Why do I still want yo talk to him. Could it be I just want him to love me so I don't feel so bad? It's not romantic feelings. It's just I don't want to face the last 2 years were a lie. I hope losing romantic feelings is the first step and more steps to finally let go he's keeping me on a thread I just can't cut completely
I paid for an expensive vacation (with the promise he would pay me back). He picked a fight and dumped me two days before the vacation and I have not heard a word from him since. I was so devastated and confused that I didn't go on the trip and lost all that money. That was three months ago and I am still wondering what happened!!?? Lesson learned... The hard way!
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@Gettingoverd It’s been three months since I was discarded too and I still wake up every day like, “what the hell happened here??”
Yes it is crazy. And even crazier to think that out of the blue, months or years from now, we may still be contacted again. But we can't worry about that. All we can do is to go out into the sunlight, have lunch with our REAL friends, learn to salsa with NEW friends, go on wine-tasting or other enjoyable outings with people sharing our interests, and in doing so, relegate the terrible days of the narcs to the ash heap of our minds.
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@KurtMichaels
Amen to that! I am feeling much better today, thanks to all of you! I am cleaning my house, having an old friend over for dinner, and listening to a Neil Young album (yes, an album) on the turntable my kids gave me for Mother’s Day! Have a good day. I truly hpe you have found the perfect, imperfect person for YOU!
OMG, Gettingoverd - you have coined a new phrase that I believe will "grow legs" as those in media like to say: "the perfect, imperfect person"! Thank you for YOUR support as well, and I do hope that maybe I have already found that person. But more importantly, your perfect-imperfect concept really drives home the fact that if we EVER AGAIN find ourselves so overwhelmed with the seemingly perfect personality and character of a potential partner, we better RUN LIKE HELL!!!
We are all human beings, and last time I checked, there was only one born on this earth who was claimed to be perfect. The rest of us have our share of deficits of one type or another. So building a loving partnership has got to be all about adaptation, acceptance, and compromise. And never, ever trying to think the grass is greener elsewhere, because it isn't. The illusions of relationship perfection momentarily created by our narcs were nothing more than blue smoke and mirrors, no different than living out a fictional fantasy that you can rent to watch on so many DVDs or streaming services.
Tonight I'm headed to the airport to pick up my lady friend after a week's vacation in Cancun, Mexico. In terms of my showing appreciation for her this weekend she's not going to know what hit her...
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