Last year May 28, 2009. I delivered a little boy he was stillborn. Every since then I have been having a hard time finding out who I was and what I want in life. I have just gone down in the slumps and cant pick myself back up. I have picked up some really bad anxiety habits from thinking there is something wrong with me to thinking I will turn into a bad person. I had a little boy 4 months ago and I want whats best for him and my hubby, Anyone out there that can relate please respond.
hon
my second eldest had a still birth and consequently went on to have another child (now two)
she too suffered anxiety attacks and wondered who she was, even as went as far as should she be in charge of this baby cos look what happened last time.... thinking this made her a bad parent and not worthy of love from anyone.
she suffered a touch of depression as a result of the hormones being all over the place, the extra anxiety she placed on her self to do everything right took its toll on her relationship and it was a bit rocky for a while, she would get upset cos she hadnt done everything she wanted to do that day....there just wasnt time to do housework and see to the baby and grieve for what might have been if the first had lived.
in the end she visited the doc to get help, and we started turning up to either feed the baby or help her do simple chores like the housework that was beyond her at that time.
it is possible to live again but u do need help to become more balanced im sure u are trying to be super woman and its making u more tired and upset than ever
you are not a bad person, and the anxiety will lessen as your hormones become balanced again, dont be so hard on your self this is a bitter sweet time for u.
enjoy your little one but take five minutes to mourn what u might have had already thats not being selfish its being kind to u and the babies u nurtured and carried
and have a good day today
loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
My parents had a still born. They had a really hard time with it. Especially my Dad.
I have miscarried 3 times. I still have a difficult time with it. I'm affraid I will never have children.
Im scared to try. I dont want to go thru the pain again but I also feel like im missing out on being a mom.
There is a book, it's one of those free ebooks you can read online. Although it's called Revelations 2010 The Cynic's Bible, it's not for tradionally religious people. It's for people who have been tested to the limit. It's about life, death, loss and why we are here. It's about figuring out how God applies in your own individual life. This short book gave me great comfort. I believe it will help anyone in crisis find hope again. I read it at www.free-ebooks.net/ebook/Revelations-2010-The-Cynic-s-Bible
and also have since found a link on facebook.
Good luck!
In The Cynic's Bible on line the author devotes 2 pages to understanding the death of a child. (Pages 177/179) I have heard it said when God closes a door somewhere he opens a window.
This book has become my window.Please read these pages
it may help you understand. James