Has dating become more complicated or is it just me

Listening to all of my single friends and their dating adventures, as well as my own, I feel like somewhere somehow dating has become so very complicated. It used to be so much more simple. I would meet a man, he would ask me out, tell me he likes me, and a relationship would evolve. Now, I can't seem to read men, I'm told that I give mixed signals, I see what my girlfriends are going through with men. They'll sleep with them 4-6 weeks in and the men disappear. In my parents day, two people met, they liked one another, they dated for a short while and got married. My parents are still married and they are beyond confused and disturbed with what is going on in the dating world these days.

I have talked to numerous people of all ages to get their take on dating now and everyone across the board says that it's more complicated than ever before. Is it because the internet gives us millions of choices globally that we always think that we can do better? Is it simply because we are lazier and think that if this one doesn't work out that another will be right around the corner? Why is dating so complicated? Or am I reading it wrong all together? Sometimes I think it's because I've only lived in major metropolitan cities, could it be easier in other areas?

ehh I agree. I've barely begun lol and it's so dam complicated! so much drama so much lying. it's not like before. nowadays people have such high standards and are always comparing and contrasting and there is also so much infidelity these days. Back then fidelity was a huge thing. Nowadays it's like who can you trust? Everyone seems to break up over cheating! and also people break up over conflicts. In the past you stayed together and worked through it nowadays people just give up. Befoer you got married and only big things like infidelity lead to divorce. Now, yes more infidelity so more divorces. But also people get divorced over other things like lack of communication or sex or other things that could be worked out but people just don't want to go through the trouble. I think the media has a lot to do with it as well. If you look around everything that is sold is sexual. sex sells. in the past advertising wasn't so sexualized nowadays burger adds involve some hald naked hot chick eating a burger in a phallic way. before that it would have been a family in the restauraunt happy and eating the burgers but now it's half naked girls "eating a burger" and talking about how "hot" it is. that's how most products are sold. so this over sexualization causes problems as well because that's what many guys want as their final prize is a girl that looks like that but that girl doesn't exist cuz it's all airbrushing and special effects. In the past personality mattered more than looks! nowadays it's soo much more physical! yes people say personality is important to them. but the first thing you see is how a person looks and you decide if they are attractive or not. You don't look at someone and think "hmm they look like they have a nice personality" lol physical matter except before people weren't so judgemental of the physical. plus these days people are so much more fake than before. pretend to be what they're not or just act plastic and engage in superficial relationships. It sucks but it's true. Unfortunately you can't SEE personality unless you've known the person a while. and in the past many women used to wait till marriage but nowadays....wellll ya know...girls are being sexualized younger and younger! and it's crazy how youg they ahve sex nowadays. When I was young I didn't know that much about sex and nobody I knew was having sex but now I've heard 11yr olds with boyfriends!? and sex and kids younger than that talking about sex and knowing what it is. It's no longer "making love" it's now mainly called "having sex" "screwing" "F***ing" "hittin that" "tappin that" etc. etc. and the fact that sex is not seen as sacred as before kinda causes more complications. Before oyu had sex when you were in love or really liked someone. Now kids that don't even know what love is are having sex andHS kids and college kids engage in wild crazy sex with many many people and lots of 1 night stands and since they think that's ok they stray in marriages as well since they don't see sex as a huge deal as before....(myself not included in the wild college kids!!! lol) that's the end of my rant.

Yet again Rose, you are so wise, thank you so much for sharing your brilliant thoughts on the topic of dating. I was just having a chat with my mom about dating today and don't quite know how to feel about it any longer. I'm a traditional girl dating in this very non-traditional world. So, what does this mean; do I wait until maybe more traditional dating will come back around or do I move to a country where life is still more traditional or hope/pray that the right one will come along at the right time? Hmmmmmm..... the million dollar question.

And you are so right, divorce wasn't really an option, most especially in my parents time of relationships. Now, it seems that you can get divorced for just about anything and everything. Before, you'd plow through and work through just about anything. Though, I must say, that I'm starting to see more and more hope as people around me seem to be working harder to make relationships work and last, so that gives me lots of hope for the future to come.

yes there are people that do work it out but since before divorce was looked down upon, people would actually work to get through things now they just figure well I can get another. Like certain things like adultery or lies and constant disappointments and big issues yea I agree with divorce but some things could be worked on like lack of communication easily solved by ummmm communicating! lol not enough sex...well there should be other things a marriage is based on but that can be solved easitly too lol before "adultery" was really looked down upon. You were thought of as a bad person if you were a cheater but not anymore. Now it's just something you did but doesn't determine your character as much and for guys if they have lots of girls other guys see them as a "pimp" or suave or cool and other things. Media and reality TV makes people more shallow and many people get married for shallow reasons nowadays and before it was more for love. There is always news of celebrities divorcing and all that where as before it wasn't as big of a deal yet now it seems popular which is really unfortunate. I don't think people should just give up on a marriage unless there is abuse, infidelity, or something really big. But if there was love once why not try to find it again and if it really doesn't work out then I guess get divorced but I think people should try to reconcile the little things. But in terms of dating before you dated in order to find someone you wanted to marry. Now people date just to get laid or just to pass the time. Many people are in relationships with someone that they know whty will not marry but they say what the heck I'm young I'll think of marriage later I'll stay with this person till something better comes along. and then that other person doesn't come along because you're in a relationship and you end up desperate and married to this person you did not want to begin with but settled and end up unhappy and getting divorced. I like how in the past men were "gentlemen" lol and dating was used to find who you wanted to marry. I hate that now "dates" are mainly because you want to sleep with the person and eventually if you like em you marry them. I wish I could go back to those times...ahhhhhh will I ever find what I'm looking for in a guy? I hope so but I just don't think this culture and different dating style that exists allows for it...I'll just have to wait and see.

Rose, you and I totally see eye to eye on dating and what it is today. I really hope and pray that there are men out there for us who have good honorable intentions and want to date in a traditional way. I'd love to meet a nice traditional man...I'm putting it out to the Universe for us....

your chances are MUCH greater than mine as your generation is nore into that where as mine is just...well you know...lol who knows maybe someone decided to raise their son right and not to be a player and to repect women and maybe I meet him someday...hopefully he doesn't turn out to be gay or married lol =/ the cute ones that are really nice always turn out to be gay or taken and my lil hopes get crushed lol
Hope all is well =)

I know that you will meet your knight in shining armor who will be traditional and court you so sincerely. He will love you to the core of who you are and make you so happy.

awww thanks hun =) I hope so! lol I'm sure you'll meet your prince charming too =)

What ever happened with that best friend of yours that was proposing? Have you tried ot date him yet?

Of course Rose, you're in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending you lots and lots of LOVE energy. We'll both keep putting it out to the Universe and we will get the love of our lives :-) I just know it.

My best friend live across the country from me and we haven't seen one another in a while. We still communicate constantly, but it seems that our timing's been so off. When he's into me, I'm into someone else, and vice versa. I suppose if we're meant to be, then our timing will get on the same page and it will happen, right?!?!?

girl sometimes it doesn’t just happen lol you gotta work a little =D next time you’rre both free go out on a date. or tell him you wanted to go on a date with him. maybe he’s kinda scared to get rejected by you. he proposed a few times and you declined so maybe now it’s upto you to make it happen and ask him out on a date or something to show interest because right now he might think you don’t want him as more than a friend. He sounds like a nice guy. I say just give it a try =)

Puppy and Ro.. Lol the old hippy emerges again.. the way you describe TV now.. dont watch it much myself but its starting to sound interesting. Remember we define our dateing world.. (lol.. probably why I dont have a date).. dont play in that world .. build your own. If you play by the rules of that world you might be more successful.. and multiple times Im afraid.. but ya just might miss the one who holds your values .. and your view of how truth and honesty build the relationship and heal/fill the soul. When makeing love becomes less than sharing your life.. your history.. your fears.. and those of your partner becoming your cares and hopes also.. and drops to simply "Tappin That".. ah .. I believe (not that Ive done it mind you) you can still get that type of "Love" for 20 bucks down on brooks road. Now if thats the dateing world.. its not mine.

Ststephenmc, so so so wonderful to hear from you, and thank you so much as always for your sharing your words of wisdom with us. You are so right on; we should build our own dating world and not participate in this one. To be honest, I see what everyone around me is doing and I don't participate in it. If a guy shows signs that he's a player, flaky, etc. then I move on immediately. A friend of mine told me that there's no room for errors with men in my life; that's only true to a point...I'm just not willing to put up with ridiculousness, whereas some of my friends will. If a guy says he'll call and he doesn't, if a guy asks you out for a particular date and flakes, if a guys checking out everything that walks by....to me, that's just a non-negotiable and sets the stage for what's to come. I've had solid relationships before and I know that there are good men out there. I'm just not in a desperate state to want to settle for flakiness, players, etc.

I am so open in terms of everything else; it's just the very basic fundamentals that I'm not willing to compromise. I know that my ONE is out there, just as he is for the two of you. Let's stick together and we'll get through this silly thing called dating....and let's make it our own.

Thanks for the fantastic insight! You are a STAR!

Who even thought it was possible to get more complicated, but alas, I agree *sigh*

I just started dating again (I am a widow and my husband passed away 2 years ago).
I can tell you, I felt I was ready to try again. Haha..... I am no longer on the market. I am in my 50's so these are not young guys, most of them were divorced and 1 was a widower. All that I got involved with started slowly and they would call every night. (The ones that I hit it off with anyway) This would go on a week or two and they knew what I looked like same with them. Then we would go out on a date and that would be the end of it. Never heard from them again. LOL
The widower lasted longer than that, it went on for 4-5 months when he decided he wasn't ready to date. He wasn't sure what he wanted. OKay... well, I don't have time for games, getting my heart ripped out. (Not really, with everything I have been through with my kids, family, husband, friends etc I don't feel anything. I am numb )
I just could not believe the games these people play. I think I'll stick to solitaire!!!

Flikrofhope, thank you for being here and for sharing. I can tell you that dating in this day and age is absolute madness across all ages. Just about everyone I know in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s is going through the same thing with dating. I am still optimistic, but I am like you, I have no time or want for games. If someone would like to play games, then they can exit stage left. Maybe by taking yourself off the market, your Mr. Right will come waltzing in when you least expect it. You may meet him at the grocery store, a local cafe, while traveling, etc., you never know. I do believe in fate and destiny, and that's why I remain optimistic.