Have to say I'm having a hard time. I just really needed a place where I could write what I want without having to deal with people judging me or yelling at me for saying it. This is my little secret. And I'm going to try very hard to keep this place that way.
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hello, RW, I can see you are new to SG. You can be yourself here, it's keeping secrets inside that eats us up inside. Here you can open up if you want, and be comfortable, we are not here to judge. Hugs :)
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-hugs- :D Thanks Virtual! I just really needed a place to be able to say what i want without being yelled at or judged. I'm on facebook alot and I find that I can't say hardly anything on there. It just got to the point where I needed a place to be able to put my thoughts down without having to worry. The only secret I want to keep is the fact that I'm using this website. I just want something for myself for once. Where I can write what I'm thinking and not worry.
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oh absolutely!! we all need to escape and be ourselves. though just a suggestion here: if that is your profile picture, maybe you would want to change it to maintain anonymity? Is there anything specific that's bothering you and you want to talk about?
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@mywonderlandslost: Thank you dearie. -hugs-
@VirtualReality: Haha no that's not me. I'm flattered though! It's actually my favourite actress from a t.v show. :D Her name is Lana Parrilla and she plays a character named Regina on Once upon a time. I just adore her, she makes me feel better :D Seeing her always makes me smile. She's so dedicated to her fans. It's amazing.
As for anything bothering me, I think right now It's just everything and anything. I've been with my "husband" for six years and we've always butted heads and had problems but always managed to work through them. Then back in February he cheated on me. I stayed with him for reasons that I'm not even 100 percent sure on and everything has just gotten worse. Now he's under the impression that the best thing for us, is if he gets a side chick. I'm not sure how I feel about it, and it's not as though i can just talk it through with him. As far as he's concerned I don't pay enough attention to his wants and needs, and feelings yet he completely ignores mine. It's just super frustrating and every time we fight and I start typing on my laptop he gets angry at me and starts yelling at me assuming that I'm writing what wrong on face book for the world to see. There are just a lot of issues and of course I'm being stupid because I love him and don't want to leave him. So I just needed a place to be able to say what i want to without being judged or without getting yelled at.
@Regal_Witch13
Oh oh that sucks. Do you mean you husband wants to get another girl? Well I’d just say you are extremely liberal if you are still with him, after the infidelity gig he pulled on you i Feb. I’ve supported you so you can PM me if you want to talk. My outraged support is with you. Go, girl. Write your heart out here.
Boy do I understand
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@boylesmedia I’m glad someone does. I feel like I’m so alone in it. Even though I know I’m not. I’ve only told a handful of people and it sucks even more because my boyfriend and I are swingers so we go out and have fun with other couples and half the time we end up being friends with them too. Well the one couple that we were friends with at that point, he turned around and cheated on me with the girl in that couple. Then she told me like three weeks later and said that my boyfriend told her that I said it was okay when I hadn’t. Then after I confronted him about the entire thing, he let me be mad for like two days and I barely talked to him and then with in that week he expected me to be over the entire thing. If I even bring it up at all he gets mad at me and tells me that I don’t see it from his side of it. How apparently he didn’t feel wanted by me and loved by me, yet I go out of my way to do what he asks and help him in any way that I can. Ever since that happened I’ve just kind of stopped doing everything that I used to do. Because I just don’t know what I feel or how I feel. It hurts to know that I tried so hard to do what he wanted and what he asked only to have him go behind my back and cheat on me, and then lie to me about it. Then there’s the secrets and how his phone is basically glued to his hand.
Yes, He wants to have a friends with benefits on the side as well as having me. He claims he loves me, and that he wants to be with me, but that he doesn't feel loved and wanted by me. Purely because my sex drive isn't as high as his is. Although that's purely because he always wants me to start everything and do everything for him, without doing anything in return. Any time I ask for anything I get a compromise so he can get something too or I get told maybe later and it doesn't happen. The last time I got anything was purely because I sat there and complained about it, and he felt he had to do it. He says that having a girl on the side would help him feel more loving toward me. The last time he did cheated on me, he came home and was acting all loving and happy and did me all these sexual favours and was in a great mood. However, after I found out why, it totally ruined it for me.
Thanks dearie, I supported you as well :) I'm glad to have someone to pm if I need or want it. It's nice to have people so understanding.
Ah I bet all those favours was just guilt post the cheating. And the 'having another girl would make me feel more loving' sounds like twisted logic. It's great way to sweet-talk himself out of feeling guilty or taking responsibility for his actions. If you think you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship, you should put things straight to him. Maybe he needs to be reminded of the standards and boundaries within your relationship again. Remember, you don't have to take things lying down. Please feel free to pm. I am not always on SG but I will get back to you once I log in.
I've tried straightening it out with him. I can't even tell you how many times I told him that I wouldn't deal with the cheating and he still did it. I told him straight up after that that even though I was staying with him for the time being that I don't trust him. If he doesn't want to do anything then neither will I. Right now the only reason I'm allowing it, is because he's so sure of himself that it will fix our relationship, so I'm going to show him how much it's not going to fix it and then go from there. I've been with him for six years and honestly he thought the same thing about ten thousand other things. As for feeling guilty, yeah I do agree with that, however I told him straight up after I found out that if he does it again, he won't be touching me that way, so he'll have to find a different way to make himself feel better. I'll probably pm you tomorrow though, I'm tired and am going to go take a shower and then go to bed, I have one hell of a migraine. I'm so glad I decided to join this site, thank you for letting me vent, Virtual. <3
@Regal_Witch13 I like that train of thought. I hope he can fix your relationship, since he is so sure he can, but you put your foot down about the cheating. I hope the migraine goes away. Do you take meds for it? And vent anytime! That’s what we are here for. Hugs back!
Ha thanks. He's so sure he can but I'm not so sure about it. Honestly I've just gotten to the point where I really don't care what he does any more. If he wants to cheat that's fine, but he will see changes in me that he won't like. If he doesn't like me now then he really won't like me when all that happens. I was hoping to go to bed, and then my boyfriend is making me stay up until he's done whatever he's doing so we can go do some stuff together and then I'll be able to go to bed. As for my migraines, I don't take anything because nothing works. I've tried everything and nothing works. I found some off brand tylenol that seems to help somewhat but nothing takes anything away. Even my doctor can't figure it out and I've tried the whole journal thing for it, did it for a year and she still couldn't figure it out.