I have my own horrible story to tell of being young,being raped,being raped more than once,then going through life with it.But these days im with a man for eleven years (however,i did sleep with someone else during these years)thats for another dicussion.Sometimes when we have sex i freak out on him.It might just be the way his leg is wrapped around me or the way he holds my arm down.I cant breath,my heart races and i go into panic mode.Of course then he calles me crazy and a freak...nice huh?Im hurt by the lack of compasion (his ex was raped and hes all nice to her)Am i crazy to be angry? My second and third rape by the same person were brutal,it has permenatly scarred me and scared me..what do u think of this?
Oh daydreamer74 I can understand the feeling of that, When his leg is wraped around you do you feel like you are bing held down, not being able to move is scarey. If I am not in control I totally freak out, yelling and crying and the last time I was raped over 20 years ago. I can tell you what I was wearing, all about my shoes, even how my hair was.
You have to tell him thats the way you are feeling. you have the right to feel anyway you want to during sex.
be kind to yourself
yes dare that is really love.
and my rule is we do what i want to do or nothing at all, guess my hubby got tired of that rule, lol but really really want to cry
A full disclosure to the events of the rape may be required, at a time when the act of sex is not expected or anticipated. A talk session to let him know of the long term effects this rape has had on you, that there are certain things that can trigger an occurrence of the rape and makes you feel as if you are in that situation again, there should be code words used just for those moments that let him know he is making you feel uncomfortable that would not spoil the mood for either of you. This may require some in-depth though or a revisit with a professional who can help you devise a plan. Now if this man loves you he will respect you and the situation and be receptive and do everything to make you feel comfortable no man want to make love to a woman and the results is that she feels attacked so he should be happy to comply. Now if he doesn’t this creates the opportunity to revisit the relationship and understand your common goals of being together. Best wishes in your healing.
Yeah, I have problems with sexual contact also. I still have loving feelings sometimes, just not as often as he does. I think this is natural. I think more men should be more compassionate with us.