UGGH I have been talking about my past alot lately and have even discussed the bad nightmares. Which is good I am feeling better not holding them in. The problem today is i am really trying to get a grip on my bulimia. Every drop of food i have been eating is driving me crazy. I keep feeling guilty and fat and so ugly for even the smallest amounts of food. I feel so ugly just gross like i am a troll under a bridge. I went out to eat today at a buffet those are the worst for me. My husband asked me how i ate so much food i ate like 4 plates. he doesnt know that every 20 minutes i went to purge. One of my biggest goals is to be able to eat in a resaturant without having to go and purge. I know i will start starving myself again in the morning. There is a cheesecake in my fridge that is haunting me. I love cheesecake but that is one of my trigger foods to purge. what to do. at least I am doing better the last 3 weeks. I was starving myslef and purging everything even worse. Hopefull i am . I am hoping that my doctor will help me on thursday. 7 years like this how much longer before i will just give up?
Is a wise decision to let your thoughts out, thats a continued step in accomplishing your life goals & processing your experiences & learning from it which will lead to a healthier/peaceful you.
Good post & all my strengths.
Take care of you.
April
hey rashy,
you're doing so well for letting it all out, you should be really proud!
at the same time it's important to find healthy ways of dealing with all those released emotions and thoughts.
have you ever had help for your ED or any of ther other problems?
xxx
maedi
Rasha - you will make it ! The key is learning to love yourself the way you are now. I struggled with bulimia for about 12 years. I finally got a grip on it about 6 months or so ago and i don't purge anymore. I recognized that the root of it was self hatred. I didn't like myself so i literally was trying to get rid of what was inside me which of course was food. I eat normal now and don't think about purging. Love yourself and surround yourself with others that love you. Nothing helps to overcome a problem more than being loved. The more love you have in your life the better you will feel and you will naturally feel better about yourself. Hang in there. You are not alone - you will conquer this !
dave
rasha, how are you???
xxx
maedi