He carefully goes through Facebook and adds people who are o

He carefully goes through Facebook and adds people who are on my Friends list so that we have more common connections. Then he turns common friends against me. He lies and twists things :(((

1 Heart

Last night I posted a meme that said: detox your life in 4 easy steps. Eliminate anyone who:
1. Lies to you
2. Disrespects you
3. Uses you
4. Puts you down

The narc liked it!!! It makes me so angry bc I'm thinking he is saying yes, this is why I (he) don't talk to you. When it's me who had stayed away!! Ugh but he knows how to get to me. I know o need to block him but for some stupid reason I haven't done it yet. I keep thinking there will be a day I won't care anymore so it doesn't make a difference if he's there or not.

Im sorry I don't have anything useful to say to you.

@BlueOlivia Thanks for posting your meme! I dig it. Using it to remind myself after I totally slipped up and contacted my ex-Narc (ughhh! Hulk mad!!) this morning that he fits every Group in your list and that there is absolutely no reason to seek or desire further contact with the lying, disrespectful, always using me and putting me down Narc in my life.

My Narc would do the same as yours…like that post because that is exactly how warped they are! My ex-narc accused me of being each and every one of the things on your list and never even once was able to step back and see himself for the crazed narcissist he is. He acted like each and every person on this planet was somehow malformed because they didn’t live up to what he expected of them.

Block him!! :slight_smile: Unfortunately there is no switch for turning off feelings for someone…he’s hurt you, badly. And you cared greatly for him at some point. I would think it is extremely likely that you won’t care anymore (be it anger or anything else) in the near future. Seeing his name, having him do ridiculous things such as liking a post obviously meant about him…its only going to keep re-opening your wounds and hurting you, not him.

You should block him! Only way to get rid of him

1 Heart

You're right but I'm still unable. Idk why I stop myself. Last night I went to his page and unliked every post I've ever liked of his. Not that many. I also untagged him. To me that's progress. It's only been 4 months. Little by little I'm making progress moving on. Thanks for your comment, I love it. Everything is so true. They don't even see the damage, bc it isn't them, it's us. It's so ridiculously absurd. But I still wake up and go to bed thinking of him and I hate myself for it. Dream of him as well. I wish it will stop now. I know it takes time.

1 Heart

@BlueOlivia Don’t hate yourself! Small progress is better than none at all. And someday, you’ll get there: You’ll be able to block him. You just aren’t there yet!

It is so hard. I’m sometimes oddly jealous of my narc, because he is so out of touch with realities and feelings that he was able to throw me away and absolutely just not care about me at all because he believed I was completely horrible and unworthy of him. Unlike him, I can’t just shut it off.

I think of him, I miss him, I still find myself checking my phone incessantly for text messages and its the weirdest mix of disappointment and relief when I see none. I keep telling myself to block his phone number in case he ever does contact me…and yet there is this part of me that just can’t. I’m trying to weed it out and banish it forever, but part of me deep inside cannot wrap my head around never seeing him again, or holding him, etc.

It does take time :slight_smile: Look at how far you’ve progressed! You’ll get there.

Thank you. He even blocked me on the phone but not fb. I haven't texted since August. When we've text is bc he sent the first msg and sometimes I didn't reply. I was trying very hard to stay NC.
He msg me a few days before my birthday to say to go out the day before or day after my birthday. Then on my birthday he text me happy birthday and said he had a gift for me. That he wanted to come by to drop it off but he was busy that day and couldn't come over. I didn't reply. But I know he was home all day. Then that was it, he didn't take me out as he said, gave me anything or anything at all. I didn't think he would anyways, I figure it was just to keep me wondering and thinking of him. I said I had class. Then a week later we talked bc he owes 3k and I'm doing really bad economically right now. He spends on bs and doesn't pay me back. I keep thinking its only money, I should let go of him and be done. He'll never pay. This is more of a headache that I don't need. Its like this is keeping me attached to him. He's also in my car insurance. I need to take him out. But that means I will have to msg him. I took him out of my Costco membership and he was angry but got one for himself now.
I agree with you, they are out of touch with reality. Mine is a covert n, so I know he feels kind **** and about his live being ****ty. I keep thinking of about that but then I feel awful for using that as a way to feel better. I recently found out he is starting college again. For so long he wanted me to motivate him to go and now he'll be starting in January. He kept telling me how I'm toxic so much so I stayed to feel I was. He said I was negative and not caring bc I didn't consider his feelings first with everything, even I always did. Ugh. I'm sorry I wrote to much. I'll stop now. Im remembering things right now that I forgot. I need to write it down.

From Substance Abuse to Narcissist Abuse & Trauma