Sweetie, how do you know he called off sick?
I don't think going by his house would do you any good, it's just that anxiety building inside and you need that release, and that's ok, but really try to distract yourself.
You're not sick, you're heartbroken...and it's very understandably painful.
A bad day is just a good day where you are feeling all those feelings and getting them out, ok hun...so please remember that.
Love to you hunny, I am here for you
Moongal x
Hi, everybody. I'd like to remind you that's Anniebanks(Shawna)'s post ,she is in the same situation like Phoenix and needs support as well. Both of them are suffering, and in dire need of help. I posted here some suggestions last week and still think they are good enough to lighten the withdrawal process of both Annie and Phoenix. They may help if you read them and try to do them. Wish you peace of mind.MK.
Moon,
We work for the same company - that's how we met. He's senior management (Division Chief)- I'm middle management. I don't always see him but I know when he's around and when he's not. I truly thought I was feeling better last night, now I feel as sick as I did when he first left me. I know if he loved me he would still be with me. I know we weren't perfect but I still can't think of one time he has made me angry. I should be angry now and I can't, I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. Work is hard - I basically hide everything I'm feeling - I think that's why its so difficult when I'm here. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through today let alone the holidays. I guess my son is going to be babysitting me again tonite...
Hey Phoenix,
I understand you have to play down your feelings at work to keep it as easy as possible for you.
I think you should write everything you are feeling into a journal and keep it close at hand so you can scribble in what you need to when you need to.
It's ok to feel sad and feel sorry for yourself, you are mourning a loss, but there are certain things you have to decide and that is how are you going to try and get out of this cycle? Can you think of anything you can do try and break this? Anything you used to enjoy and have always wanted to get back to?
For me there is something to said for mediation just going into a quite place, allowing your whole body to feel that pain, anxiety, fear, rage, etc and trying to let it go.
Do you talk to your son? Do you tell him that you appreciate his time and him coming over and all that, i hope so, he sounds like a wonderful person.
I am here for you hunny
Love to you
Moongal x
Phoenix, we care about you & YOU will have to do it your way as many others will & have done. We're with you, lean on us we're thinking of you, we wish we could make the pain go away quicker though. I've done that before.....driven to his house......I was 28 then.....it didnt change a thing & only made me feel worse.....again its your decision & you'll do what you have to do w/your feelings........
Maria, you've given very good advice & sometimes others here need all of us to talk to regardless of whos post they are opening up to, thanks again & keep up the great work.
All, Thank-you, it's been a really tough day. My son came over to babysit me tonite, I've told him how much it means to me - I am thankful I have him to help me especially tonight as HE called again today. He calls because he says he wants to know how I am but than shows little regard for my pain. He says I am his best friend and that he knows he can talk to me about anything - I listened and realized that before the conversation was over I was defending myself. I know that taking care of my family during the slow decline of my mother for six months left him alone and that I was in a really dark place watching my family disintegrate but I shouldn't have to defend my actions while his are excused. He says he's still conflicted about being with a younger woman and his future as well as worried about how desperatly (his words) she was in love with him. I realize now where he stands and where I stand. I still have alot of pain to work through but I definitely do not want him to come home to me. He says he's living in the moment and I live for tomorrow - well the pain I feel says different. I told him he should continue to live in the moment. What I didn't tell him is that I'll get through this pain and I will move forward stronger and better - where will he be this time next year? Still broken I'm sure, because I won't be there and he can't even discuss his deepest thoughts and concerns with her because she's so fragile. I'm not going to worry about him - I just want to rebuild my life. It's been so long since I lived for myself - I agree I have to find something that is interesting and fulfilling until than I'm going to have to work through the loneliness I still have my son. I will regain control and move forward. I think I finally found my ANGER...and realized my self-worth. You guys are Awesome - thanks for hanging in there with me! I realize I still have a long way to go but I know I have a great support structure and with your continued support and patience I'll make it through - hugs to you all and Happy Thanksgiving!
So sweetie, basically he calls you cos he wants to winge about his current situations and expects you to pick up the pieces…OMG! What an idiot, no wonder you were enraged, I definitely would be. And “so desperately in love?”…pass me a bucket.
Exactly sweetie through my times of loneliness I thought oh no he’ll be out there having a great time and I’ll still be here, but it soon dawned on me, I won’t always carry this anger, I have learned more about myself and moved well away from him and he’ll still be him…and that fact always makes me smile.
I am so glad you are having a better day, and if you want to be angry or sad or upset, you go ahead and be all of those, embrace those feelings cos through them it’s then that we move on.
Love to you
Moongal x
its not who you are or arent, what you are or arent, its not what you have or dont. its him chosing to be with someone that probably was ideal when he was younger. it seems like he is regressing to something that might have been ideal to him as a kid and well, you are too good for him now since he is feeling like a "rock star". cover band over a job? wow.
heartbreak affects us in totally different manners and well, it spans differently for us all. you have my support :) get back on the dean's list. you are too good for this guy. you really are.
Annie,
We haven't heard from you in awhile, How are you doing? Are you still in contact with him? Is counseling helping? Maybe you can share your progress with us. I know everyday is full of pain and the holidays just seem to make each day harder. Let us know how you are doing. Share your pain and grief it helps and the people here care and want to help you. If nothing more writing down how you feel and knowing that other people are experiencing the same pain and suffering and they actually understand your pain can't hurt your healing process. Don't be afraid to open up - this is a safe place for you to be totally honest - even if you don't know how you feel - if you just want to talk - talk with us.
Things have not been good for me. Three weeks ago I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. I was really upset and I overdosed on pills.I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and had my initial evaluation. My next appointment is not until jan 10th but I am having a hard time. I try to make sure I am not alone because I get so upset. I feel like i am becoming annoying to my friends. The topper was me getting into a bar fight. Now I am not just hurting myself but I am hurting others. I am considering checking myself into a behaviorial facility. I am at the end of my rope.
Annie,
I'm so sorry I haven't been on site lately, my father died last month very unexpectedly and I've been kinda lost myself. I know it was very hard for you to run into your ex and his new girlfriend I can only imagine how you felt but know you will get better. Everyday is struggle Annie, you need to fight back all the negative - I know it's hard - it's a battle sometimes every minute. If you have a fav movie that makes you laugh - watch it over and over. Do things that make you feel good. And when it gets really bad and you can't even put your feelings into words just pray - over and over and over - it doesn't matter what you say if you can't think of anything pray the Lord's prayer - I did that at the hospital for 6 days last month - it gave me strength in the middle of no hope. I'm not a religious nut but I know God heard my heart pleading and he gave me the strength to get through the worst month of my life/. Don't give up on yourself. You are precious and beautiful and deserve to be loved and to love. Believe it, repeat it to yourself until you do. We tend to be our own worse enemies - dwelling over everything that has gone wrong in our lives - focus instead on what you want to go right, how you want to be happy and reach for that star - it's amazing it works but we have to work at it. I know I'm still hitting the highs and the lows. I hope all the best for you sweetie, you deserve it. Take care and make sure you keep posting. Hugs:)