Hello everyone. crazy day yesterday, narc husband yelling at

Hello everyone. crazy day yesterday, narc husband yelling at me about my daughter wanting me to take her to sports and not him. Which is my fault and I am programming the kids to hate him. I seriously put my fingers in my ears and said this has nothing to do with me. I am trying to get things sorted to get a divorce but I worry about the time my kids are around him. now I can help buffer him towards them and get him to yell at me instead of them but if divorced he gets alone time. anyone else deal with this?

I haven't dealt with a narc divorce, but one way to help the kids is to have a court ordered counselor for the kids to talk to after the divorce. A 3rd party for them to open up to

He can get so ugly that I can't even imagine what it is going to be like when I file.

Can you get out before you file for divorce? Or do you need him to leave? Make sure you find out your legal rights on all accounts before you do so he can't lie and manipulate you. Log down his behaviour, report it to your solicitor if you can, see a counsellor too as that can be used in court if it comes to it, you can't fully protect kids unfortunately but when he has them alone you can send Warnings if he runs you down or uses them as a weapon - which builds up to a case against him as that is deemed emotional abuse to the kids, you'll probably find it easier when you are out of the picture as lots of it will be done up get at you so the least you react the better (apart from proper legal channels if you need to pull him up on his behaviour)

Look into gray rocking I have to do that to keep me sane. Basically is showing no reaction. Takes a lot of anxiety away.

Gray rock and going through all the proper channels to get things agreed are my biggest pieces of advice. Don't even think about trying to negotiate with a narc yourself. Impossible

You can do it xx

I want them to know normal and not this narc crazy yelling drama life. Yes that is a great idea. I had thpught about that in the divorce.

100% agree my kids are so much happier cos I am happy and when I worried and checked how my daughter was she said "oh it's great I get two birthdays!!"

@19yearsnowfree thanks, it is good to know that it is better. I have friends that have divorced and it is nothing like dealing with a narc.