Let me just say that I have scanned some of the group's past entries and wow! you all sound so kind, smart, and supportive!
This past week has been just awful. Thinking about food and my body has consumed all my time and energy. I, saldy, even returned to purging. This has complicated my school work (I am in college) tremendously. However, I have realized that after years of putting my health at the bottom on the list I need to start taking care of myself, body and mind.
After meeting with my PCP in a mess of tears and anquish, I am meeting with the intake coordinator of a outpatient program nearby on Monday. I am excited and nervous. I maybe have to quit my part time job but that is a minor cost to pay for the potential help I may receive from treatment. Does anyone have any advice for starting an outpatient treatment program? I am afraid I am going to let myself down... but there goes my self-destructive tendencies...
You sound like you're in a great place for starting treatment! I don't know how your outpatient program will be - are you alone, doing groups with other patients? - but I think that if you are with others I just want to warn you that at least in my experience it can be tough. Group support can be great, (hello, supportgroups.com) but a lot of ED is inherently competitive and that can be a challenge when you're going through recovery.. because oftentimes people compete according to ED standards versus getting better. That's just something to watch for, try not to get sucked into it, and remember that you're there for you. Another thing that helped me was spending lots of time with friends/family/non-sufferers because it makes very apparent how narrow that ED mentality and world is, and serves as a good reality check compared to your fellow patients. I was in a full-day outpatient program so none of this may apply to you, but if so we gotcho back. :)