Hello everyone, I'm new here, but I'd appreciate any advi

Hello everyone,

I'm new here, but I'd appreciate any advice or insight anyone may have. This post is a little graphic, but I think I need to share some of the more intimate details to get the whole story across. Here we go:

About two weeks ago, I was chatting with my friend on Skype, when he introduced me to his other friend, a girl. As we chatted, I suddenly started envisioning what it would be like to sleep with her, and I masturbated with that thought it mind. It was enjoyable, but afterwards, I started freaking out. "Why did I do that? I don't understand. I don't think I want to be a girl, but then why did I do that?" And then all my thoughts kept racing and spiraling out of control.

I don't understand what's going on. I've always dated men and enjoyed it, and have had really good experiences both romantically and sexually with the opposite sex. I've also masturbated with the thought of other women in my mind, but I've never wanted to pursue a sexual or romantic relationship with another female. Lately, my thoughts have consisted of checking to see if I'm attracted to women, waking up every morning with a panic attack, and being scared that I'm turning gay or bisexual.

I'm going to see a therapist next week about this, but until then, I could really use some help. Thank you!

Well the thing is, you simply don't turn bi or gay. Actually you can't at all. Real and genuine attraction doesn't cause (bad) anxiety or panic. Checking is a huge compulsion of mine too. And yeah it's a compulsion. And masturbating to the thought of a women doesn't prove anything about your sexuality. We can get arroused by anything. What's in the past is in the past. I think you're very smart to be going to a therapist. Take care. xx

It was probably just a dopamine rush at least your a porn addict like me lol..(laughing to hide the pain) and also don't put all your eggs in thinking the therapist will give you peace of mind he/she might not know about hocd

@Ericthomas no one said she was a porn addict…