Hello. I am 10 days shy of one year post divorce and I have decided that I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. At the first of the year I decided to go on the 2 online sites which so far only 2 men have responded back to me. One ghosted about 2 weeks ago and the other who I am starting to like, I am still messaging. It was going great about every day for over a month until last week and now only 2 e-mails in a week. I really want to get to know him more and our emails have been quite long and full of some personal information that I never thought a man would share.No information that would be a bad thing, but he has shared personal things. I thought things were going good, but now I think I either did something wrong or he might be losing interest. We have not met in person yet. Any advice would be helpful to what I should or shouldn't do. I see the sites that everyone is finding dates on, but my EX is on POF and Match so I can't go on those sites because I am afraid that they may match us up. Plus his girlfriend is super jealous and even though we have a good friendship post divorce she is not allowing him to even speak to the mother of his children, ME! Is it me or do men do this a lot? Haven't really dated in like 30 years so this is all new to me. HELP!!!
I'm not a big fan of online dating because not many people on there are looking for a committed relationship. A lot of them are only interested in hookups for casual sex. Therefore, I would advise it is better to pursue love wherever your interests lie. Eg If you have a dog, join a dog walking or dog obedience group. There are also sports like tennis and table tennis. And don't forget ballroom dancing, square dancing and walking and coffee groups. It all depends on what you like to do. By all means stay on the dating site but be wary of everybody. There are a lot of liars and scammers too. Beware of anyone who wants to borrow money.. to help his sick mother for example. Not everything people say is true even if they seem charming. If you decide to go on a date always tell a girlfriend where you will be going and never leave a public place alone with your date. As far as the fella you were talking to goes, we can't know for sure, but sounds like you could have given too much away too quickly. Some people lose interest if they find out too much too soon. Everybody likes a little mystery. Only reveal a little about yourself at a time and only as much as he is revealing about himself also. Better to get to know someone in person and not jump in too quickly. A solid friendship is the basis for a good future relationship. Good luck:)
I actually have been talking to a man who seems wonderful and I messaged him on one of the sites I am on. We have really been chatting a lot and I finally asked him for his information and to see if he was interested. Just mainly to see if I was wasting my time or not. I was told by him he wanted to meet me and start out as friends because he has had some really weird women after him when he met them and talked to them. So I was glad, because I felt the same way. Take it slow. What is confusing me is he keeps telling me about these women and also that he is not finding anyone that has his same values and religion. I just want to say to him "HELLO I am right here in front of you." Not sure if I am in the friend zone or if he is telling me what he doesn't want me to say to him because of the other women. I guess he is real gun shy because of this. Maybe this is a red flag, but he does enjoy getting to know me so I am so confused right now. Not ready to jump in with both feet, but I would like not to hear about other women interests he has been talking to either. Maybe men in my generation do things different. Last time I dated anyone really was I swear 100 years ago. UGH!!! Ready to give up them all, altogether.
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@updowninsideout That is great advice. THANK YOU! Subtle yet to the point.
wait...your ex is on a dating site, and his GIRLFRIEND is the jealous type? ummm, he is a dog
It's been a while since your post. How is your situation with this gentleman going? Also, I think you could still use Match.com and just delete your ex if you are ever matched with him. I wouldn't limit your dating site options.
@Eyni Hello, Yeah this post was a while ago. So as an update. We finally got last names and phone numbers. We met in person 2 1/2 weeks ago and I thought it went really well. So nice and we couldn’t stop talking to each other. Much more handsome in person and my heart did a little jump or two when I met him. No second meeting, but we are still texting. He tells me lots of personal stuff about what is going on in his world, but still not moving forward. He is super busy and I don’t want to push him away. I still want to get to know him more. I am about ready to just say lets meet again or move on!! I am really starting to like him so I don’t want to move on, but I don’t want to miss out on someone new. They are not knocking down my door, however!!! No one has even contacted me on either site I am on since I met this man. Confusion, confusion. Thank you for asking!!!
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