Hello I am a new member

Mental Health Mental & Physical Abuse
1

I just joined this site today.
Wow a lot of sub groups are here that I feel I can benefit from and be a benefit to.

I chose this group first because for the last 3 years I have been in an online support group and was suddenly bashed and deleted.

Long story but a very cultish tight knit group that offers support. I went there and worked their program and got free of my addiction to cocaine.

I stayed on for awhile to help others.

I took a break and then went back.

Over the last three years I have dealt in my life with loss of business, loss of employment, house and I lost my health all at the same time AFTER I got free of drugs.

Funny thing is I always had money and business when I did drugs, when I finally quit, I lost all of and then I lost my health too.

Without money I have been going to the County for help , however they move so very slowly that my condition(s) have gotten progressively worse while I await my treatments and diagnosis.

Now, the reason I am saying all this is for one it's my intro here and for two
during this time I used the cocaine support group to help others and found that by doing so , that alone allowed me to help myself.

The people that own and operate the group are not counselings, did not post and would go on tears to bash other programs and people, the same people that came there for help.

Whenever this happened it would scare the others remaining.
Sooner or later you would voice your opinion properly that you did not like to hear the negativity (the do radio shows) and that hearing them bash others esp. those that came for help was not helping.
Soon as you said this you got bashed, deleted and then they carry on for months bashing you.

Well, it finally became my turn.

So now I'm looking for another support group.

I chose "bullying" first because I just experienced first hand the impact of the written and spoken word that it has on others.

We, none of us , know what other people are going through in their lives and I feel it is dangerous and anti productive and downright harmful to say or write mean things about people.
The fact that this happened IN A SUPPORT group was even more mind boggling.

After contributing and helping others for 3 years , I was bashed and deleted in one day, w/o the people at the top even ever once writing to me or asking me what happened.
I stuck up for the ones that got bashed and deleted and said that I thought that it was wrong for ANYONE, to do this and especially when you are advertising and offering to help people.

It really shook me up. Sad thing is the people that were there, only 3 were looking up to me as well as all the ones who came and went across the 3 years who come back.

I have a mind to write to the proper authorities in that state to have their practices looked into because they are trying to make a business and applying for a 501c3.

I think of this not to be vengeful but to protect others.
If someone was in a really bad way, that type of treatment could cause them to go over the edge. If so, the family would sue them in a hearbeat and be right to do so. The investigator could take a few days and find literally tons of people who were hurt by these people.

So, I am all w/o support in one fell swoop.
I am facing life and death situations in my life both financial and health.
I am trying my best to overcome my own obstacles , interior and exterior and I have benefited by being in a support group.

So I am looking for another one where people actually know how to treat others that are going through life challenging scenarios in their lives.

thanks for reading me, I tend to get long winded.
but I am happy to be here and share my many victories over life challenging situations w/ others that are looking for some support.

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hi and welcome to the group! if they become a business you can turn them into the better business bearu. they will take care of the situation. your right it is not right to put others down and bully them. that is not going to help anything but tear a person down. i hope that thee is some kind of remedy for this... keep us posted.

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thanks Ashley for your fast reply.

It ends up being so confusing that people would offer to help and great program and then turn around and behave this way and it is a direct contradiction to the book they sell....really bizare. Thanks for that that is a great idea!
I just dont' want others getting hurt, if they did this to someone whom is already down , i am afraid what it could do.

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my mom once told us when I was young, my dad was being rude to the waitress and my mom said
"don't ever be rude or mean to anyone ever, because you do not know what they are going through, for all you know she just got a call that someone she loves is dying."

that stuck with me and it is soooo very true.

none of us knows and we ought to always be nice to each other.

we have nothing to take with us when we die, it is how we treated people that is all we will have....

i hope that people can learn to be nice to each other and to stop being mean, vengeful spiteful and just downright nasty.

some people just may want to hurt others because they themselves are hurt, which is bad enough, but to go out and offer a support group and be this way is over the top !!!

sorry to ramble! I am using the group to vent off my steam as this just happened and really messed me up, for myself and for others.
so I'm trying to get over it.

thax for giving me the place to write this out, i have relied on writing through my hurts on a support group and it really really helps a lot.
doing so w/ those that understand and have some compassion is what i need .
so thanks to you all and Ashley for making me feel welcome. and giving me the chance to heal my recent wounds

im in the hurt mode right now.
so it means a lot to find compassionate people who will allow me to rant

that even became discouraged, they only wanted us to compliment the owner instead of use our blogs and such to vent to help ourselves by
again counterproductive!

love the internet, there is a support group for everything and you know that
even one for being hurt by a support group!!!

i can let others that got dinged up and hurt
i am using all my self control to not go to others
cuz they are in the mode where they are being helped.

so i'm letting them all be cuz i dont' want to hurt anyone

pretty bad to need a support group to get thru the pain of being in a bad one but that's where i'm at!
lol

it feels a compliment though as there have been dozens of people before me same exact thing.
so now i can let them know they can come here to vent their pains on this and to get the proper support forum where they won't be attacked

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i love your moms way of thinking because it is so true about not knowing what other people have went through that day. what an awesome way to look at things and live by. i hate to say this but i turned in a doctors office once to the better business bereau because i have a chronic lung disease known as asthma. well i dont have insurance and i have been to this clinic going on 3 years. well they never told me that they help people get their medicine for only a 5.00 copay. well i found out from a friend about it because her husband has asthma and gets his medication there. my asthma was really out of control to the point of hospitalization. well when i called and talked to the lady about the program she scared me and was mean to me and treated me like a mooch. she said they didnt have to help me that it wasnt a program for people to just come in off the streets to get medication and when i told her that i go there been going there for 3 yrs she said ya for other stuff. it doesnt matter what i had went there for. i qualified for the program. she said the doctor didnt have to help me. she said i have a chronic lung disease but they dont have to help me. so basically she was telling me i could die for all they care. so i turned them in. well i went in to talk to them about the program and the manager of the office said she knew who i was cuz she was contacted by the better business berau so i know they will take your situation seriously. just dont curse or they will not take your case. im not saying you will but sometimes when were upset its hard not to. anyways you can go to better business bereau .com and file a complaint. i am glad to be of some help. everyone deserves respect.:)

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i also agree with you on the fact that if someone is down how would it affect that person. what would the outcome be. it is scary to think about.

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thanks, wow, I'm sorry that happened to you. I just cannot stand "mean" people, for myself , I cannot even imagine treating someone that way.
Probably she was unhappy with her own life and took it out on you, probably only place she can, I'm glad you reported it.
People should know better. It is sad we have to actually tell them or report them in the first place.

Yes, it's a great idea, thank you for that.

Me too, I am afraid of what could happen. We never know what a person is going through as my mom said. I never forgot that , I thought it was a brilliant thing to say and to think about.

These people would go on and on about the "power of the written word" to heal, and I wrote them off group that they can choose to use the power of the written and spoken word to help and heal or to hurt and destroy. If you are going to treat people like that makes you wonder why the hell they'd even HAVE a support group or go online to promote themselves that way.

I think that the "leader" and I use that term very loosely , is full of self loathing . A psychologist could have a field day with him.
He is taking out his own bad feelings on others.

I'm still thinking about it, it's good to know I have some recourse though. They have been know to CONTINUE to send hate mails even after a person is gone. So if they do I shall for sure turn them in.

Thanks again Ashley, appreciate you!

OH, what other groups are you in?

8

oh, I heard from a mutual friend that also was treated badly and was kicked out for voicing her opinion about what she saw them doing, she listened to their radio show and they were calling us names, (now they have grouped a few of us together) which I also thought was wrong, I am a person, and I am myself.

and they said then they changed the place that it was not a "support group" anymore but a "freedom forum" whatever the heck that means.

freedom from what? not from anger and pride and ego.

Anycase, thanks for letting me vent my way through this.

Pretty sad when you need a support group because of your support group, yet there it is!

9

yes they are still at it, i made the mistake to look at what was going on, plus I have been emailed by several people if not every last one who has stated the same.

now they are using their radios shows to bash me , last one was an entire hour of it and called me every name in the book!

really bizarre, i must have made a stink, i heard from one person that it got extremely quiet there, the others are probably stunned and afraid to post now ..

well it looks as though they are losing members left and right now as a result
i have a feeling he is not done w/ me yet, using people as fodder for his "material" I guess he has no other material and is just angry bitter person and full of pride , he seems to enjoy it. I lost count of all the names he called me.
it is so tempting to look and listen but I need to stop because it is just negativity and I have actual problems to work on right now and do not need to be put down and all that, just because i chose to help others.

weird thing is i never said a bad word to anyone either? i think some people are just unhappy and must take it out on others...i will never get it ...
but I am surviving this too.

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sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. some times i swear im not with the program. the groups i am in currently are asthma, bipolar,and acne but there are more i should be in. i have other issues. how lovely. i feel like a basket case lol. that is awful that they are calling you all names. they must be pretty miserable with their life.it just shows other people what their like and their making themselves look bad. im sure they are starting to tell a difference since no one is responding. they are not worth anyones time and im sure that things will come to a halt for them because of their ugliness.

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Hi Pegasus, WOW I'm very sorry you've had to endure that as well!! Geez, I can't imagine someone doing that here!! THATS CRAZY!!!!! I think if someone did that here, the other members would jump in and put a very quick stop to it!!!!

I think the fact that your last "support group" was trying to sell a book and the "owners" or whatever controlled the group, probably made a few people self inflated about their "power"!

I am not saying there aren't plenty of differening opinions here, but moreso, an unspoken rule that we try to be open minded and see the good in everyone who comes here for support and to give support! We have some very amazing members here, and you've probably already met some of them.

I left a very abusive marriage on January 15th. I found this place around February 25th and the people here literally held me up and loved me until I could begin to stand again. They have saved me from many of the things that happen to us when we've been abused. Very, very smart, loving, patient, beautiful people here. Truly this place is a Godsend.

Join as many groups as you want as it sounds like you have some very important life experiences that could be of assistance to many others!! :) But also remember that you deserve support for anything and everything that you may be going through.

SO, rest assured that you will not be pushed around or silenced or attacked here. I am really glad you found this place!!

Glad to meet you!! Suzee

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Ashley! No problem dear, I totally hear you. I find myself getting lost sometimes too! I enjoy to keep up with things here as well and I am just so relieved and thankful to find the site. I did not have to do a lot of pain staking effort to find the place either! I give that credit to God and google. lol I shall look forward to getting to know you Ashley, thank you again for your kind words.

Suzee, Thank you so very much for the very welcome and the reassurance that I will not get beat and bashed up for being myself. It is great to hear this! I already in a few short days feel so comforted by reading all of you.
I am thankful to be here and to have found you all. I am thankful that you were able to find the support that you needed to go through all that pain.
I look forward to reading more about you !

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i also agree with suzee it is an unspoken rule here to see good in others and to be kind. i enjoy getting to know everyone here. were like family. hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow.

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thanks ashley and suzee

well good things come even out of bad things
i have finally found my closure from it all

i made the good fortune of finding a dear friend there that i must admit i would not have been otherwise aquainted with unless for the group we were both in

this guy even tried to turn us against each other by playing on us and making her feel that i was against her and flat out lying! bold face lying! amazing what people will do and wonder why they would, but not worth the time and trouble it takes to think about it

i am reminded of that quote by I believe Elearnor Roosevelt I will have to look it up but something like "no on can make you feel inferior about yourself w/o your permission" or that no one can hurt you but yourself

i have in recent years come to really truly understand that statement and it is so very true, we must ALLOW it, to hurt us
and if we simply do not it won't

harder to do than it is to say but w/ practice like anything else
it gets easier

i was able to cry this morning as I had no sleep tossed and turned all night from worry of financial problems and thinking about this crap
i had to really wonder to myself why the hell am i so obsessed over this?
i know i can be a bit Obsessive compulsive but over this?

yes, i have obsessed in the past too about OPBB (other peoples bad behavior) and that is how i finally learned , for the most part NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONAL
I used to have such low self esteem i would almost look for any material to use to beat myself up with so i had to question myself when i went back in there as to why
but in the end i decided the reaosn why was that i wanted to know i simply wanted to know what was what and who was who in an effort to just UNDERSTAND

i saw it clearly and now i know that i do not know everything there is to know but i know enough , in fact i know WAY too much!

so i always try to take soemthing out of everything even out of bad or hurtful experiences, ESPECIALLY out of bad experiences, i always can learn something and use it as opportunity to grow

well i made a lot of good friends in there that I'd have never made otherwise
one i have invited as she was badly treated too, i invited her to come here as I am so far really loving this group

i cried this a.m. no sleep and got a discouraging phone call and then the memory of last night listening to all this crap all ganged up on me at once,

that is what i meant, when something like this bad treatment hits you at the inopportune moment it can be on thing that one day you may just brush it off but at another moment it may just send you crying

so i cried a bit, but realized i was very tired and emotional

i wrote to my friend who understands and was also mistreated herself
so she REALLY understands, then she called me and i got to talk to her and we talked our way through it and I feel all healed up now

thanks to this site you all and all the great people here, i have found a VERY SOFT LANDING FOR MYSELF

and I thank you all very much, you will be special to me for always in that you are the first people that i met here and that made me feel welcome and were kind to me from my recent wounds

i sound like a big cry baby reading back what i wrote, i tend to be sensitive and sometimes overly
but i spent a lot of time and energy there and it hurts when you pour your heart out
it feels like a betrayal of trust to pour your heart and then basically be made fun of for doing so

but you are right Ashely, they did make t hemselves look bad and I need not stoop to that level.

i wish them the best now and found peace and forgiveness in my h eart
and i've decided to not look back again
i lost too much time to it and it will only get me all upset again

so my job is to stay away from that place and those people

thanks again for letting me rant and rave about this, seemingly small incident but it felt real big to me , honestly i should not care what those people think but it all hit me at once

thanks again......xxooo
hugs to you both
sorry for my typos and all i am tired and my back is hurting.

going to rest myself up now!