Hello. I’m hoping to get some feedback and advice on my current situation. My boyfriend is divorced with 3 children. The mother of the children unfortunately is the definition of a narcissist and manipulative person. Although he does his best with the time given to him by the broken system, parenting the children has become increasingly complicated and difficult. The Children are age 8,11 and 13. They have become defiant and argumentative with even the simplest requests or tasks given to them and constantly fight. My boyfriend also fears disciplining them because both the 11-13 year old have cell phones and constantly text their mother, the one in particular will tell her mom everything that’s said and twist things. He’s often put in bad situations due to the mother and cannot explain things to the children due to sensitivity or adult manors. They are not allowed to speak of their home life with the mom and if they do they’re punished. I’ve seen full blown meltdowns of “why did you tell mom”. This type of manipulation with the children has alienated the father with the kids fearful to speak to him about their lives or any issues going on. She has always tried to alienate them from him, to the point she’s teaching them to be the same way as her. Does anyone have any advice as to how to combat this? He wants nothing more then to be a father to them and teach them morals and values but is met with a road block of the system and a mother who will stop at nothing but to destroy his relationship with the children and their minds.
I don't know that it gets better, that is why people say to cut off contact. In this case he has 10 more years at least! It might be helpful to hire a mediator and to get the kids into counseling.