Hello :) It's not a feed about a problem, but the one of my

Hello :)
It's not a feed about a problem, but the one of my progress.
Around one month ago, I have written on +SG about being unsure whether I should tell about my trich to my boyfriend or not, seeking feedback and support with your experiences.
Two days ago, I have took my courage and decided to tell him about it. He was confused, because he didn't notice any bald spots on me (the old ones that were left and don't really grow back). He said that it is totally okay with him, he will support me no matter what and that this problem won't ever overshadow my great worth as a person :)
I am so far 4 months hair-pulling free and now I feel even more motivation than ever to maybe say goodbye to this ;)
I am sharing this motivation with all of you! We are all really great and we should help ourselves while fighting trich, as it has no power over who we are! :)

2 Hearts

So proud of you and yeah for picking such a sweet and supportive guy!

@CKBlossom Thank you :slight_smile: I kind of felt like telling such a thing to another person is a gamble - people sometimes can look sweet outside, but when informed about your problems, they may change and look as if you were crazy. I kind of lost that trust a long time ago, so it was a bigger challenge for me to give him this trust.
But yeah, he is still with me, he’s not treating me any differently than before, nothing changed.
Well, maybe something changed - our bond got even stronger and my confession about trich triggered him to entrust his own past problems. We definitely trust each other more :wink:

That is so beautiful and wonderful! Thank you for sharing this :)
What have you found to help you resist the urge to pull?

@thalassa Thank you for your kind words :slight_smile: Sometimes a supporting feed on +SG can also have an impact, since it makes people believe in reaching for harmony and happiness :slight_smile:

How to resist?
I’ve never used any methods like wearing mittens or shaving my head, nor using stress-balls or growing my nails, so I wouldn’t be able to pull (deep down, we all know that if we really want to pull - we will find a way, even if it’s by biting our nails or taking mittens off).

After my therapy the best thing for me was to contact my emotions - especially sadness and anger. When I have the urge, I try to think what causes it. In the past, I wasn’t really on good terms with myself and I ignored all negativity, thinking it made me look weak.
For me the best way to calm it down is to talk it out - I need to express my anger, sadness, or stress to somebody (whether the person is the cause of such distress or when I seek support to discuss the matter).
Second way was at first to stop after the first pull and forgive myself - I am a perfectionist, I know most of the suffering trich is as well, so such a fail always made me wallow in guilt. Nobody and nothing will be able to support you, if you don’t support yourself first :slight_smile: Forgiving yourself by just thinking “Alright, it happened, I pulled. I will not be angry at me, I will support myself to try again.” sounds silly (it did to me at first!), but it actually can make a difference!
Third - most of my urges came from my self-esteem about my looks. Since August, I’ve decided to look after myself, start eating less junk food and no sweets, replacing it with water. I see the effects now - 12kg less, more energy :slight_smile: So in the end it’s probably my changed thinking - it’s not that I MUST take care of myself; it’s rather I WANT to take care of myself.

Hmm… I wrote a lot, so to cut it short:
Probably the best way to resist is to think less about how to fight trich and work more in supporting and being honest with yourself.