Hello support group family I'm new to the group and I would like to share my story. I would like to first start by saying I was in a long-term relationship for nearly three years. This is the only relationship that I have partaken in sexual activity. I was a virgin before I met my former partner. I found out that I had an abnormal pap smear during my well-woman visit. At this point in the relationship we were 2 years and 9 months of dating. We had plans to elevate the relationship as in moving in together taking it to the next step. But then when I received a phone call regarding my abnormal pap smear, they informed me that I would need to have a second test because they believe that it is HPV and to have a biopsy to confirm that it is just that. Two-weeks after having the biopsy I received a phone call to inform me that yes indeed that it is HPV and it is the type which is high-risk which is precancerous. I informed my boyfriend at the time of the results and within two weeks he decided to break off the relationship. Ofcourse I was shocked, upset, angry and didn't understand what was going on, so I asked him what was the reason for The Break-Up and he stated that he needed to work on himself. Which I knew was a lie because two weeks after the biopsy that's when he broke it off and to me that's Mighty coincidental that he did it 2 weeks after. But before he was speaking of moving in together and he also brought up the fact of thinking of having children...... I'm still in the state of disbelief, life just seems different. He was my first adult love, my first sexual partner, the first person that I've ever cared for in a romantic way. I can't believe that this happened to me because this isn't the person that I met. He's like a different person that I don't know anymore, he refuses to speak to me, he blocked me on social media and he refuses to assist me in treatment financially.... When I informed him of the HPV he stated that his former partner told him that she has warts or herpes. I don't remember the name. I told him that he should have disclosed that information when we were discussing both of our sexual history. And that because he didn't disclose the information, that he took my choice away. I also told him that i wasn't upset with him, but as long as we get through it we will be fine. I asked him does he want to continue the relationship because I do not want him to surprise me in the near future because he would like to break up because of the HPV. He informed me that he would never do that and why would he break it off because of HPV. But boy was I wrong to have believed everything that he said. As soon as the biopsy results came back. Two weeks after the results he broke off the relationship... This is my worst nightmare and I would never wish this on anyone.
I was reading a journal the other day that high risk hpv is extremely common in the sexually active population. In the UK they tested women attending for cervical smears (before the vaccination program had been rolled out) and found a quarter of them to have high risk HPV, so basically everyone has a good chance of getting a high risk infection, so all us women just have to get on with smear tests and so on.
I would imagine this experience could potentially damage your trust in men, as bad experiences have put me off men in the past, but you should remember that there are good men about who won't let you down when you have problems, and you need to use your instincts in future to find a better type of man. Forgive and forget what's happened with your ex-boyfriend, and focus on meeting someone better who you can have a happy life with.
@emily111 Thanks for your reply. But regarding your comment about using my instinct in the near future. I find to be a little offencive. It seems like you are implying that I did not use my instinct, while dating my ex. Just to be clear there were no red flags I was dating my ex for 2 years and 9 months, as I stated within my post that the relationship was actually elevating to the next level as in moving in together. His behavior had changed once the biopsy results came back with the confirmed diagnosis. Also before we even engaged in sexual activity, several conversations were had regarding both of our sexual history. He neglected to tell me about a former relationship that would have been information that I would have needed to know before I would have proceeded with engaging in sexual acts with him. So that being said I took the necessary steps that any adult within a romantic relationship should take. Now it is up to both individuals to disclose all honest answers and questions so something like this will not happen. And again he did not inform me about that particular situation until after I was diagnosed this was 2 years and 9 months after being with him… So be mindful of the words that you choose to an HPV victim.
It must’ve been so hard for you I can’t even imagine myself in your shoes but I can only say that I wish you nothing but a happier and healthier life ahead of you . You will find someone better and who stay with you in good and bad situations. And we all are here if you want to talk .
@weeely82 Thanks very much. I really need all the support I can get. It’s extremely difficult. It’s only been two months since he left me with this disease which he infected me with.
I had the samething happen to me, very similar stories, except I have warts and my girlfriend at the time left me a few weeks after also, it was very heartbreaking. We also talked about moving in together and having kids. But what i come to realize months and months later, is that she clearly isnt someone I want to go through life with if theyre going to be like that.
@Mandrew Yes, I agree. Did your ex ever reach back out to you and apologize to you regarding the situation?
This must be such a difficult time for you, I don’t know what I would do if I was in your situation. I can’t believe he had the audacity to not even apologize or anything so you can receive that closure. I hope he eventually apologizes for all the pain he has caused you. You’ll find someone new, never give up hope in finding someone who will understand with what you’re going through.
@Mb9 Thanks. I’ve decided that I’m no longer interested within a romantic relationship anymore. I don’t want to put anyone in this type of stressful situation mentally, physically and financially.
You deserve better! I am sorry that you experienced that but you will find someone who is much more understanding ^_^