Hello...well my mother 62 years old was diagnosed with mom h

Hello...well my mother 62 years old was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma...beat that and is in remission now. A year and a half later she was diagnosed with a secondary cancer in her lung. She has aggressive treatments of platinum chemo and radiation. She is now in remission from the lung cancer. Thank the Lord. Well now my sister of 36 years old was diagnosed on Monday December 28th 2015...with lymphoma. A biopsy where they removed two pieces of a lympnode in her neck. They told her it is definitely malignant and the scan also showed it lit up like a Christmas tree. We will not have the complete pathology report back for about 2 weeks. They want to place a port in ASAP...Do a bone marrow biopsy...and start treatments as soon as we find out if it is Non hodgkins, hodgkins, tcell, bcell or whatever the test results tell us. I'm really having a hard time grasping all of this. First my mom and now my sister. I have a very big heart...soft heart and have a meltdown every day. My sister is a very private person and doesn't share her feelings very often. I'm really looking for someone to help me to talk to her...what to say...what not to say to upset her. We are ringing in the New year having to face all of this. And it almost concerns me that my mother's cancer will come active again. What do I do? Please anyone willing to talk...I need advice. My email is [email protected] if you would like to contact me that way. Thank you for listening to me.

It could be pure coincidence or it could be that your family is being exposed to either chemicals or radiation from your environment. Sometimes with the building of a house, they put a ton of dangerous chemicals in it, and over the years some of these unhealthy materials start causing cancer. It could also be what you eat, chemicals in agriculture could cause it. Or maybe bacteria or viruses are causing it.

If you suspect dangerous cancer inducing materials in the household, it's best better to do a check of the house and to see what kind of materials everyone is exposed to and check if what you all are eating might be causing cancer. Although practically everything can cause cancer, it's important to see if you can grab the big causes because 2 cases o lymphoma is quite a lot, because they say every 20 out of 100 000 people gets it. It could be genetic also. But it could also be caused by bacteria , your family might want to run a check on whether the Helicobacter pylori bacteria is present in the body. As it is known to cause lymphoma, also human herpesvirus 4 is known to cause lymphoma.

As how to deal with this. You just need to be there for them. Just say, if there's anything you need, or if there's anything i can do , just say it and consider it done. That way you show your support for your family. Don't force your sister to talk about it. She is who she is, and you shouldn't go against her personality. If you need to bring it up no matter what, try to do so in the softest possible way.

I feel very sorry for you and for the things you are going through, i hope everything will end up going well. Try your best to steer the disease into the best possible direction that would lead to the recovery of your loved ones.

Hi cheriemurray5975, There was no reason given as to how I came to get Hodgkins. I was on some medication for arthritis which had a known link after 20 years use or so, but I had only been on it for under 5 years. That had never been known to cause problems before. There could have been environmental considerations. Then again, genetics can be a cruel business. So I gave up worrying about what caused it, and focused instead on what might get rid of it.

Treatment will not start until the type of lymphoma is nailed down, as it might not help, and could make things worse. There are specific cells (called Reed-Sternberg cells after Dorothy and Carl who spotted them in Hodgkins patients) that identify Hodgkins from non-Hodgkins. Medicine, by the way, is beginning to move away from those two catch-all descriptions. The cells sometimes hide themselves from view, and can be tricky to locate. If they are found, then it is Hodgkins, and the spread of them will decide the stage. All stages are treatable, and Hodgkins has one of the best clear up rates of any cancer. Non-Hodgkins isn't too far behind, and your sister has an added advantage in being female - survival rates are higher than for men, making this a truly sexist disease.

Your sister will have her work cut out. Not only will she need treatment, but she will also have to support the rest of the family through her illness. I say that lightly, but it is true - all the patient has to do is follow the doctor's orders. In my experience, the whole team were calm, re***uring, even at times funny. They kept me fully informed, and instilled confidence in me, borne out by scans part way into my chemotherapy that showed the tumours shrinking rapidly. Family don't get this, and just worry. The best thing you can do for her is to remember that there is a two-week gap between treatments. She might be ill, but if she is anything at all like me and other cancer survivors I know, she will appreciate just being treated as normal. Go shopping together, get to a movie, visit friends and family, whatever; just get on with life. If she wants to tell you about her illness and treatment, let her, and ask questions. I have three children who at the time were 21, 19 and just started university, and 17 and still in school. I decided to be open and honest from the word go. They were naturally shocked, but soon realised that Dad was still the pain in the *** he always was, and we just got on with it apart from every second Friday - "Poisoning Day", and a couple afterwards when I was tired. Don't panic - this has every chance of ending well.

In the meantime, ask any question. Someone will know. Point your sister gently towards this site. She doesn't have to give her own name or location. A lot of us were or are in the same boat, and this is here to help. Never forget: A problem shared is a problem one of us didn't have before.

@tony k.....

Great post and advise!

Keep the faith everyone

Irish

Hi cheriemurray5795, boy, this is a lot to take in. Here is my story

When I was 10, my mom was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She already had lupus and severe anemia, among other autoimmune diseases. She lived for 9 more years, but in those last few years, boy was she nasty to me and everyone one around her. She did not want to be called sick and while she expected everyone to help her, she also absolutely hated to be helped because that meant she was sick. It was a lose-lose situation. It was really hard for me to talk to her and I ended up resenting her... Which is something I am working through with my therapist.

What I've learned from this experience, and in the one conversation I can remember having with her where we both let ourselves feel, was that the times I felt free, were when I told her how I felt, that I was scared, that I didn't understand how she went on with the pain. I told her I was sad. I shared my feelings. You can't control how someone expresses their feelings, but you can say you are there for them, share your feelings, and let them know that you love them. Everyone deals with trauma differently. If she doesn't want to talk, I would definitely recommend going to a therapist, talking to a friend, or journaling. I've done all three and they've been a huge help for my soul.