I go back and forth between not eating at all to binging. I go long periods of eating one meal a day to eating in binges. It is like I had forgotten how good food is. I can when a binge is about to take place almost taste the food. I start buying and eating to fulfill the craving. It is like carrying a toddler throwing a fit inside me and all I want is for it to quiet. So I feed it, then I feel guilty for eating and hate myself for the uncontrolled consumption so I restrict the food in my house and only drink coffee all day and enter into the other side and eat only once a day. I become obsessed with what I am eating and making sure that the foods I eat burn more calories than the food contains such as celery and ice water. I will when I flip from the binge eating to not eating weigh myself over and over again to make sure that the weight I gain goes away, yet I plateau at a weight and it makes me crazy. Then I eat then I am back in the cycle.
Hi Bymyselfe34: I'm amazed that your post is displayed since it's date was 8-16-10: I only wonder how things have changed since the difficult day when you made your post. I may be talking to myself, but that's ok as I frequently walk around mumbling to myself. I feel I must respond though as a learning experience for myself as possibly for you. You seem to have been experiencing a world of dietary extremes at that time. Planning and executing the shopping necessary to sustain a bingeing period followed by an almost starvation period because of your guilty feelings. Sounds like a dog chasing it's tail syndrome doesn't it? Seems what is needed is a little planning to sustain a more healthy pattern. I'd recommend accepting your binge as just part of your life right now. Therapy might help you gain some understanding of why you feel you need to binge but regardless, you did binge and it's history. Going hungry in guilt appears to be a method to continue the vicious cycle (binge, guilt, starvation, back to binge etc. etc. Perhaps instead of going hungry, plan several normal meals with healthy snacks. Perhaps getting out for a healthy walking routine would be better than starving yourself. I think anything we can do to get things back to a more normal pattern is helpful. I also personally believe we need to minimize negative feelings and injet joy and happiness in our lives. For instance, start each day with a feeling of thankfulness. I can be thankful for example that I still have reasonably good health. I'm thankful that I'm happily married and that my spouse also enjoys reasonably good health. I'm thankful that I'm a grandfather who has the cutest 10 month grandson on the block. I love our group as members continually offer the wisdom of what makes positive sense to them. I empathize with those in distress but I can't get too wrapped up in the negativity of others as that isn't good for me. I love the suggestions for a good read that helps me better understand my own challenges for eating inappropriately. Positive quotes from great thinkers also appear on the website. In short, I encourage you to develop a plan that breaks your cycle of dietary extremes. For sure, don't go into a starvation mode after your binges as your cycle of extremes will probably continue. Try to program more happiness in your life and brush off negative feelings. Grab hold of opportunities where you can learn alternative strategies for life and conscientiously inject some of these ideas into your life a regular basis. You can breath a sigh of relief as I think I'll finish up for now. Of course, I'm providing my own therapy by writting you. If it helps, I've had a successful double header. Take care.