Please help me I have BPD and like all of you have been through so much in my life already. I was married to a **** that cheated on me after 10 years of marriage and I have issues from that. I thought they would go away by themelves in time but I still have issues that spur from that relationship. He and I divorced a couple years ago, and then I met a great guy. He means everything to me, but there is one huge major problem. I have been lying to him about things I did not need to lie about and now a certain issue has brought up some things and I decided today to just write down all of the lies I have told him. I have been lying about things since the beginning because I thought that it would make me sound more exciting and more like a person he would want to be with. He is understandably upset and I get that. He says he still loves me and will not divorce me but I am so scared. I told him everything no matter how embarassing it was. He says he feels like a F**King idiot and a fool. I hate that I made him feel this way. I did not mean to do it, its kind of like I was living in my own fantasy world and things were good. I started believing ,my own lies. I have an appointment tomorrow so that I can get a referral for treatment, but I am at a loss for words. It seems all I can do right now is cry. I do love him, so much and I hope that we can start a new beginning and I can earn his trust back. I have hurt him so badly and I wish I could take it all back but I can't. I just don't know how I can get him to see that I have an illness. I want to get help I have made appointments to get help. Any words right now are appreciated.
I can't tell you how much the first part of your post reminded me of you. I have been married for 10 yrs, he cheated on me twice in the last year with my 2 of my best friends. I am so lost from it. I don't know what to do, I am still with him bc I don't wanna lose him and I wanna believe he will love me like he is suppose to. I am so sorry that you have to feel like I feel rt now bc I do not wish it on anyone. I am gonna send you a support friends request and I hope you will stay in touch.
*reminded me of me, sry... my son was crawling on me, lol