Please help me I have BPD and like all of you have been through so much in my life already. I was married to a **** that cheated on me after 10 years of marriage and I have issues from that. I thought they would go away by themelves in time but I still have issues that spur from that relationship. He and I divorced a couple years ago, and then I met a great guy. He means everything to me, but there is one huge major problem. I have been lying to him about things I did not need to lie about and now a certain issue has brought up some things and I decided today to just write down all of the lies I have told him. I have been lying about things since the beginning because I thought that it would make me sound more exciting and more like a person he would want to be with. He is understandably upset and I get that. He says he still loves me and will not divorce me but I am so scared. I told him everything no matter how embarassing it was. He says he feels like a F**King idiot and a fool. I hate that I made him feel this way. I did not mean to do it, its kind of like I was living in my own fantasy world and things were good. I started believing ,my own lies. I have an appointment tomorrow so that I can get a referral for treatment, but I am at a loss for words. It seems all I can do right now is cry. I do love him, so much and I hope that we can start a new beginning and I can earn his trust back. I have hurt him so badly and I wish I could take it all back but I can't. I just don't know how I can get him to see that I have an illness. I want to get help I have made appointments to get help. Any words right now are appreciated.
Dear Mashmallow
I am glad for you that you are getting a referral for treatment. I have been where you are with my bipolar. I had thought I had to tell people all of the negative things I had done (major or minor). When I did, I was very unwell and in need of treatment. So please go ahead with getting your self some help. When you start to feel better and more stable, life can be sorted out. But for now your health is important. I know your partner is hurt though it seems he loves you.
Am here to support you. Please look after yourself and post again. Support is here for you
From Mood Disorders to Bipolar Disorder