I am new to talking about my eating disorder and I guess I am just looking for some help on what to do? I just told my parents and therapist (I have anxiety, OCD) this fall and I am thinking about doing an outpatient program. I just dont know if it will be helpful of just give me more ideas.
my particular eating disorder feels kinda rare. I float from average weight to extremely obese which even thinking about makes me wanna go puke my guts out. I typically go on binges that can last weeks and then go for weeks of starvation (my fav!!) seriously. I love to feel starved it makes me happy.
I guess thats a little background on me. I dont really know how to even start to deal with an eating disorder. I feel like i have no one to talk to about it, and Im really hopeless. Its especially embarrassing thinking about it, or even telling other people that i have an eating disorder when I am so overweight,yuck. I feel like i am trapped in some one elses body.
Hey there!
I sent you a message!
I understand what you are going through right now. The fact the you just joined this site means something! Things will get better. Just remember you are not alone!
Hang in there girl!
i think outpatient would be a great idea if you get the chance to do it. anything to further investigate your ED and whatever is behind it will help you deal with it.
and of course opening up on here is a huge step too. you definitely don't have to feel embarassed here as we're all in the same boat one way or another. keep telling us more and you'll realize how many who can understand are out there!
Hello and welcome :)
First off I would like to say that ed's do not look a certain way at all...the media makes us believe that a person with an ed should look severley under weight; that just isn't the case all the time.
Outpatient is a great first step, I'm glad you are considering this <3 in the mean time we are a very supportive group of ppl, so continue to share <3
thanks gina, its so embarrasing for me to say i have an eating disorder in the first place and then to add that I am extremely overweight currently, doesnt help. I miss being thin, im scared i cant make it there without starving myself
i think a lot of us have been at those thin stages too but i doubt we were any happier. that's the problem about EDs, no matter what type, in the end it's not about the food or the weight but how we generally feel about ourselves.
me personally for example, i simply can't stand myself. even if i'm thinner than now then i'll be dissatisfied with my career or other stuff, i simply can never get it right, i don't know how to accept myself, who i am. but i know that is where my recovery would start!!
i really do understand your fears and i wish we all could get away from 'thin' being the ultimate goal. how much easier would the world be!!!
Hi! I'm new too. If it makes you feel any better my ed is a lot like yours. I'm average weight to obese and it floats all over the place. It's gotten better since I quit purging, but I always worry about it. An outpatient program sounds amazing for you. I wish you all the good happy thoughts in the world. You can do this!
Congratulations for being brave enough to reach out for help on here! I hope that you also are able to find some good outpatient treatment. ED's come in all shapes and sizes, most of us strive for some unrealistic ideal of thin and even if we reach it we still can not accept and love ourselves. ED makes us think it is about weight and food, when in reality it is an illusion of us being not worthy of self-love and self-acceptance. We all deserve to love ourselves and respect ourselves!