Help please

Hey,
I'm a new member, really looking for some support- man oh man has this whole thing gotten tough.. allow me a moment to explain-

last December I stopped eating and went from 130 lbs to 110lbs (at 5"8"). I've always been health conscious but this was something new entirely (especially considering how much I LOVE food)

around February I started to binge eat and purge, became vegetarian (on and off of course), stole roommate's candy/ food when they were gone and the entire cycle spiraled out of control

Two weeks ago I explained the situation at hand to my mom, and since being back in college, the dorms, binge eating/purging and laxative abuse has increased beyond whatever I thought was imaginable.

I'm trying to find a specialist as well as a nutritionist, and I've started to eat 6 mini meals through the day and I exercise everyday- at least once. my meals are only 100 calories but if I eat anything more, I bust out of control. I'm bloated, drinking bazillions of gallons of water whenever i can but..

I'M DEATHLY AFRAID OF GAINING LBS but I know its because of the underlying issues of course. I just can't bare the idea of gaining weight- and of course since eating 6 meals and drinking my body weight in water, at this moment, I weigh 105 and binged on dried apples and had 2 Special k bars that I stole from my roommate. luckily it stopped there but it had been 6 days since my last binge and now I'm scared, lonely, and feeling HUGE

hey, firstly welcome!! im new too, and these people here are so supportive, you've come to the right place.
sounds like what iv been through a bit. its an awful cycle to get yourself in, but i promise you if you want out of this, you can certainly be free of it.
im SO scared of gaining weight too! im just in recovery now, i am seeing a fantastic CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) therapist, whose really helped me through small steps to recovery. not been easy but worth it so far!
please reach out for some professional help, it only gets worse. iv struggled for 4 miserable years with this, getting myself no where but mental health. the sooner you nip it in the butt the better i htink.
you're so worth beating this,
stay strong
ash