Help with understanding

Hi, I hope this will help me better understand the disease my bf has and is recoverying from. He has been in treatment for some time and is struggling. I don't always understand what he's going through and how it stresses him out if someone else relapses. I myself am struggling with trusting him and dealing with the hurt and pain his actions have caused. I don't think he understands how bad his drinking has damanged my self worth when he is involved. It weird because I know I am a great person that is worthy of so much, I don't feel I am that in his eyes.

I am looking for support in helping me believe it is not me and that it is the disease. Along with a better understanding of what he might be going through and struggling with. Thank you :)

Hi aloneandconfused, Is your boyfriend also attending AA meetings? For you I suggest checking out Alanon . They are a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. There you will find understanding and help. Please keep sharing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))

Its not you its his addiction don't blame yourself. That would be like blaming yourself for him having diabetes or something. I know this is hard to understand but its so true.

I am very much going through the same thing you are. I am still very unsure of ways that I feel and trusting my husband and dealing with the emotional abuse that went along with his using. The one thing I have taught myself that I think was so important was that it was his decision, nothing I did pushed him to where he ended up. He tried blaming it on me, saying it was the only way he could deal with me, and it took a while to realize it was him trying to make himself feel better. We have two small children, and as you know it is stressful being with an addict, and like me, I'm sure you haven't turned to alcohol or substance to deal with the stress that comes with the relationship. I would definatly recommend the al-anon meetings too, I am looking forward to going to nar-anon to get more of an understanding like you are!

Hello there! I am somewhat in your same position. The man I am with is an alcoholic that drinks until he completely blacks out! His eyes litterally turn black and you have no idea what will happen next. It is extremely hurtfull and the next day he acts as if nothing ever happened??? Be strong! It is hard. Have you made any attempt to seek counceling with him? Alonon would be good for you! Support groups are awesome!!

I know it is a disease, but how many lies are we supposed to take?? I'm so tired of a husband who lies to me so much. I don't know what to do...