Help

im 23 years old, never buy meth, but always get it for free. i usually do it once every 2 weeks, and every time ive done it, it ruins my life.. i have no reason for doing it other than my own insecurities and self-esteem issues. when i get people to smoke me out, i feel amazing. I feel confident, happy, sexy, and makes me think that everyone wants to have sex with me. ive even found myself ending up at a men's bathhouse numerous times waking up naked and not sure what had happened to me. i have been taken advantage of, and even had people pay me for sexual favors. i was diagnosed with herpes 2 in october, and vowed to myself that I would never do this again and take care of myself because I still want to marry a woman and have a healthy family with my own children. unfortunately, ive already done this again two more times since i was tested. i can't tell any of my friends or family about this. i need some help soon

dude your first step is to go get professional help man or it may get worse

isn't there anyone else out there who can give me some advice?

good thing ive been sober on my own and trying to get better on my own, because noone has given me any help or advice or has said anything to make me feel better

hey try not to drink too much alchol because thats probably the reasson why you dont remember what u do.
And be very carefull with all that you may get HIV get some help now before its too late ok, talk to a friend ,you mom or dad or someone who loves you to give you better ideas ok...
Good luck and i wish you the best.

so i am doing a lot better, thank G-d... but i still have the demons urging me to do these horrible acts again... its so hard to resist these temptations

Sexual addiction is a funny disease. It can sneak up on you in so many different ways when you're not expecting it. Kind of like what happens to you when you wake up in the bathhouses. You hadn't planned on going there, but you got on the drugs, and from there, have no idea what happens other than you wind up acting out with some other guy or guys. Often, when there's a sexual addiction present, there will also be some form of chemical dependency going right along with it. But the sexual addiction will ALWAYS be your primary addiction. It's the one that was there first, and it will probably be the one that's killing you the quickest. Any other addictions (to meth in your case) came along later, after the sexual addiction was already there. The job of this other addiction is to help you handle or deal with the shame which the sexual addiction causes. The drugs help you "numb out" your feelings of guilt and shame.

If you want to recover from the sexual addiction, you need to know that self-control IS NOT GOING TO DO IT. The reason I say that is to be found in the very definition of an addiction. It is something you are POWERLESS over. So if you're powerless, self-control won't work, at least not for long. So if self-control isn't the answer, what is? Well, this is where a recovery program comes into play. It will show you new ways of working with and dealing with your temptations to act out.

If you're interested in starting a recovery program for yourself, then there are certain "first steps" you can take to get your going. I always suggest that all newcomers learn something about sexual addiction when they first get started. The easiest and quickest way to do that is to read a book or two on the subject. So, I'm going to suggest that you get hold of two (2) specific books. The first one is titled, "Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction", by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. And the second book is titled, "Lonely All the Time: Recognizing, Understanding, and Overcoming Sex Addiction for Addicts and Co-Dependents", by Ralph Earle, Ph.D., Gregory Crow, Ph.D., and Kevin Osborn. Both of these book may be purchased from: www.amazon.com.

Once you're read the books, you might want to take a look at an online program called Recovery Nation (www.recoverynation.com/). This is a treatment program of sorts that works very well with sexual addictions. It consists of a series of exercises which you can work at your own pace, in the privacy of your own home. Or, if you'd prefer, you can work with a mentor for a small fee. Either way you decide to go, you will see changes in your life as a result of working this program.

Next, you might want to take a look at the various Twelve Step groups (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous) which exist specifically for recovering sex addicts. The are five (5) national fellowships that I'm aware of:

Sexaholics Anonymous (S.A.)
www.sa.org/

Sex Addicts Anonymous (S.A.A.)
saa-recovery.org/

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.)
www.slaafws.org/

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (S.C.A.)
www.sca-recovery.org/

Sexual Recovery Anonymous (S.R.A.)
www.sexualrecovery.org/

On each fellowship's website, you will find a listing of group meetings that will be indexed by states, and then by individual cities and towns within each state. Each group listed will show the day of the week the group meets, where they meet, and what time they get together. If one or two groups on any of the various group lists would work for you, I strongly suggest you drop in on a couple of the meetings, if for no other reason than to find out what the groups are all about, and what they have to offer. For a great many recovering sex addicts, these weekly support groups play a HUGE role in their recovery since they provide some local support for your recovery efforts. Also, you'll probably make a new friend or two along the way as a result of attending these meetings.

If none of the groups shown on any fellowship's list works for you, than take a look at the information that's on each website that has to do with telephone groups and online meetings. Now granted, these are not the same as the "in person" groups, but they sure are a whole lot better than what you have right now which is no support at all for your recovery.

Next, I wanted to give you information concerning three (3) mega-websites that each deal with sexual addiction and recovery:

Sex Help
www.sexhelp/com/

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/

Sexual Recovery Institute
www.sexualrecovery.com

There's an awful lot of information and resources shown on each website, so please, take your time reviewing each site so that you don't accidentally miss something.

A final thought to get you started on a recovery program for yourself would be therapy for you. I've been in recovery for this addiction for over twenty (20) years, and I have never seen anyone overcome this thing without some therapeutic intervention along the way. This disease is just too involved and complicated for anyone to figure it out for themselves. We all need a little help at some point. Now some folks find that it helps for them to work with a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist, and you can find lists of these folks on the first two (2) mega-websites I mentioned above (Sex Help, and the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health).

So there you have a few ideas or suggestions to get you started on a recovery program of your own. Once you make contact with any of the resources I've give you (like one of the Twelve Step groups for instance), they will be able to give you a whole bunch more referrals or tell you about other resources that are available. That's how this whole recovery thing works. One person helping another. So you've got more than enough information to get you started, so I wish you good luck and smooth sailing. If you have any questions, or if I can be of any further service, please let me know. I'm always happy to help in any way I can. Take care, and hopefully, I'll be seeing you on this site a lot more in the days and weeks to come.

Well I cannot give you any professional advice. I can how ever give you street knowlege advice lol~ I am 30 and was addicted to meth for 7 years. Like you said I loved the way it made me feel~ I also had alot more sex partners than usual. but in that life style you are not special everyone has sex with everyone its "normal". And yes at first its free duhh?? Of course it would be how else would they get you hooked? But it will not always be and from the date of your post I can bet you are already involved in the cooking process by now. See thats why they need you hooked. All I can tell you is if you do not quit using now your future will be a long hard lonely one. You need to first change your phone number and quit talking to anyone that uses, this will not be easy. Then you need to find out where their are NA meetings in your area NA not AA you will probly get more from an NA that AA, I did. And take this process one day at a time it will be a long hard one. And remember if you do slip and get high, you probly will, DONOT beat yourself up for it relaspe is part of recovery. Just pick yourself up and try it again. You also need to talk to your family and close sober friends about your addiction. The more people that know the better your chances. Please dont take this sittuation lightly. Your future is death or prison if you keep using I dont care what you do, thats what it will be. I will keep you in my prayers. But you will not change intill YOU want to Good Luck~ I just found out today a guy I used with has life in prison for cookin dope, that is the 3rd person I know with life sentences... think itz a game!!

thank you guys so much for the valuable information :-). and thank you for caring, y'all are wonderful people